up, close and personal

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote my personal thoughts...Yeah well, I’m always a blogger /writer type, you know I keep diaries since I was in standard 2 (when I asked my father to buy a very beautiful diary, with a cute girl on the front page because I could not resist its cuteness!) It was then too (fresh in my mind) I read an article about a man at eighties, still keep a journal (a diary) with him since his twenties!So I immediately made a vow, I want to beat him as I started as early as 10 years old. So I might be a greater diary writer (insya ALLAH) longer than him!!
So every year since then, I get myself a diary to express my feeling and thoughts. Frankly, I prefer written words than spoken words because they are more beautiful, less effected by irrational emotion (as you can think longer in writing, than speaking) and of course, you can correct your misuse of words at any time.As Malays proverb says ‘Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata buruk padahnya’.But hey, still, `Mata pena lebih tajam dari mata pedang’.Thats also explains why I love to write my thoughts, instead of expressing it to others.
Being a very sharp-tongued, open minded, fierce, cruel ( I suppose, haha), sober, preserved, calm, futuristic, straight to the point person ( at least in my own view), I think most people shared my views but there’s always difficulties in expressing it.That’s why people like me love to write or at this current situation, blog.Back to the legendary diary tale, I continuously wrote in diaries until early secondary school.when I get to STJ, there was not enough privacy for person to write a diary, for fear it will be read by someone else.At STJ, I knew I changed a lot.From a typical ex-girl school student(one of the top primary school in N9 at that time), I think most of you can guess my personality, and some people can’t even stand girl schoolers behaviour..but since I went to STJ, an old SBP co-ed school where the atmosphere was totally different, I really changed a lot (fortunately, for the better).All the changes and moments that I faced were still kept in my diary during secondary years, but not as frequent as during primary schools.I keep updating my diary during my monthly ritual of going home and during school break.As I get older (form 4 and 5), I started to slow down in updating the diary.There were too much hysterical moments happened, and so much work to do instead of to write all that on paper.At this stage I changed my routine, by writing to photographing. especially when my dad get me a brand new Olympus camera (very stylish and cool at that time, love it!).The photos that I took speak louder than words..at least the happy moments can be recapped again and again( this is why I love to write so much, I can recap n recap whatever I had wrote).
However as I made my first step to UTP, things are rapidly changed.I didn’t have my own personal diary anymore. I was too busy to update and to write. Sometimes I really miss my old diaries and how I used to read and reread it during my school holidays at home.It just too nostalgic, I must say. And later there was this hit in town, WEBLOG. It appears everywhere, and I think this is better than conventional diary. But blog is a public diary, and I really not the type who share my secrets. But sometimes it feels good to share your thoughts and opinions to others and let them comment and criticize about it.At least we know we are not alone in this world..there are people out there who share with us the same thoughts, same problems, same views, same pain, same feelings.