will you marry me?

I had this interesting discussion with my friends in KLCC a few weeks ago. While we shared our experience, chit-chatting, and updating latest gossips and news, one of us, let me define her as Miss Z, suggested a simple but interesting module. The module was inspired by Zabrina Abu Bakar's book, Life is an Open Closet and she asked all of us to play along.

First, Miss Z asked all of us to take out a piece of paper. Then, she gave us 10 minutes to list down all the criteria we desired for a future husband.At that time, my group of friends consist of all girls, so I guess the topic excites most of us. Some immediately write down what is on their mind, and some even start discussing with each other, how their future husband should be. Smirks and laughter rose every now and then, well who can even resist this interesting discussion? A few of the girls, including me even think this is quite a confidential favour to be asked, but then we decided to play along anyway, since most of them are much younger than me, and I don't want to be labelled as `kakak tak sporting' la kan:)

After twenty minutes of listing the criteria, Miss Z picked a voluteer to say out loud her preference of a future husband. This is the most interesting part after all. Each person had their chance so no one will get away, including me, to share with the members of the group.. alamak baru ingat nak mengelat :P

Most of the girls had quite similar characteristics for their desired future husband as below :

- Beragama (have faith, religious)

- Sedap mata memandang (good-looking)

- Memahami (understanding)

- Berkarisma (charismatic)

.. and a few other personal preferences like certain physical traits, pro-active, romantic, etc..

But one of the most interesting respond I got from one of them is that their future husband kena `make-sense'. When asked to elaborate more about this, she said the person should not be perfect, or in this case portray the characteristic of an ideal husband, but at least kena make sense in his actions. Like, `takkanlah kita nak kahwin dengan orang yang tak sembahyang kan, atau orang yang tak suka kita pakai tudung...' (her own justification, more or less). Hm, betul jugak tu, nonetheless, I could not disagree more with her facts :)

OK, now comes the most-awaited part. It was Miss Z's turn to make conclusions and justify the rationale of her module.She asked us one unexpected question,

" If ever you find the kind of man you described, and he asked you WILL YOU MARRY ME, what would you say?"

La, ada ke tanya soalan macam tu. Mestila YES kan. Hehe

Then she continued, " Of course the answer is yes, but then try to asked yourself another question, slightly different from the previous one, WILL YOU MARRY `YOU'?

Puzzled, perplexed faces were everywhere before the girls could understand what Miss Z was saying. She actually suggested an idea of self-reflection, that we always desired the best person to be our life partner, but what about ourself? Do we fulfil the same criteria, as what we want from a total stranger? If a stranger, that portrays the exact same attitude and behaviour as we are, proposed to us, will we accept it in an instance?

Well, it is not the matter of downgrading your preference to find a soulmate that is just OK jelah, but actually to improve ourself at least to have the same/almost the same characteristics as what we desired for an ideal husband. Yes it would be hard, but let's try to improve ourself, slowly but surely.Only the best deserves the best, right? :)

( Thanks Miss Z for inspiring me to write this entry, and H for you `make sense' theory :) Very interesting indeed!)