LDR Blues..

*LDR - long distance relationship

1. Eventhough my life is easier that I don't need to attend to his
basic needs i.e washing clothes, ironing, cooking for him etc, but I
do feel guilty/terkilan coz he need to do everything by himself in the
absence of his wife

2. Everytime he travels around for work, I could not help to think
about cukup ke baju dia bawak, sempat ke basuh baju, berus gigi
tertinggal ke those kind of stuff

3. The guilt he feels everytime his wife experienced mood swing and
broke down in the middle of phone conversation, let alone the
unintentionally accusatory words i.e. kesian sayang tinggal sorang2,
sampai hati abang tak balik etc

4. The dilemma he faces whether to stay or go back to KL to a cranky
wife when weekend arrives, especially when the plane ticket needs to
be paid using own money. Sometimes the plane fee can reach more than
RM1k!

5. The sympathetic tone and awkwardness when friends and relatives
tanya takpe ke dok jauh2 nie, takpe ke dok sorang2, can you manage?
what about your safety, taknak quit your job?unpaid leave etc macam
lah kita ni ada banyak option..

6. the dynamic and uncertain schedule for outside of work activities
i.e. programs, meeting friends, etc..in my case its always tie to
whether my husband balik or not (which has no fix date and duration)

7. During my first year of marriage, among the mounted issue is to try
to conceive..

8. When the second year comes, the big issue is I'm pregnant and alone
and how can I raise a child without a husband around?

9. The constant prayers and tawakal kepada Allah, even sometimes we do
grieve and cry but the most important thing is to accept the fate, and
try hard to put things into pieces in whatever means.. insya Allah,
Allah tolong kita along the way. In my case, all the time!

All in all, leaves everything to Him, since He is the ultimate planner
of our lives.

At 33 weeks

- Ma dah bising i tak ready lagi hospital bag
- I bagi alasan sebab tak sempat2 lagi basuh baju baby utk bawak dalam hospital bag
- Tetiba Icrave to buy new maternity clothes. Kau kenape.. baper minggu je lagi tinggal
- At this stage I watched my food intake very carefully. A useful tip is never have any junkfood stock in the house, or else bangun tengah malam sebab craving potato chips atau air sprite. Hubby please take note and don't stock the house with junkfood! Nanti I makan habis!
- To date, my pregnancy weight gain is already more than I planned! Argh! I plan nak naik 10kg jer sepanjang pregnant(dream of the impossible)
- Alhamdulillah to date I have a very healthy pregnancy. Allah permudahkan urusanku :)
- Malam2 dah taknasik coz takut heartburn and takleh tido sebab kenyang sangat. Unless kalo mak mentua ajak makan ler hewhew ( eh aku pon dah terikut2 gelak camtuh)
- My Shaklee ESP helps me to fight constipation problem. Already on my 2nd canister :)
- I memang rajin makan supplement (eh tu pun nak cakap takde motif)
- Sekarang dah avoid drive long distance takut leg cramp. Tapi ade skali KL banjir aritu terperangkap dalam jem 1.5 hours mase balik dari ofis..seb baik tak cramp and selamat sampai ke rumah.
- Baju2 baby tak berani beli banyak atas nasihat ramai orang.Tapi nanti kalau dia tak cukup baju??
- Sekarang malam2 selalu penat and ngantuk awal so dah tak berape mengada sgt bila hubby tepon malam2
- Baru teringat baby bath tub and car seat tak beli lagi. Abang i know yu read this, lets get them when you come home nanti ok!

Susu ILHAM has been restocked!

*sticky post*
Susu ILHAM has been restocked ye! Check my other blog :) >>
Are you pregnant/breastfeeding mommies/has toddlers/or just want to live healthily and consume sunnah food? Susu ILHAM is for you!

2011 Reminiscence

*I've prepared this around new year's eve but forgot to post it.Sorry for the delay!*

My 2011 was coloured with a lot of milestones and memorable moments. I felt like having a hardbound diary just to remember this year, but is there any point of having a diary at the very end of the year? Haha perhaps I can try for next year.

Jan 2011
The year started with a family trip with hubby's family and my birthday celebration (thanks honey!) to Guangzhou, China. Our intention is actually to look for small business opportunity and only Mama managed to start her own! She bought 30 beautiful evening clutches (or some of us referred to it as dinner bags) and it was a big hit among her friends and relatives. This was a rough and hectic journey, but we love every moment of it! Later when we come home, I found my pregnancy test was positive. I conceived! After one year of marriage. It was such a sweet birthday present for us. To be honest, we'd planned to start to meet some Gynae to check our fertility status (just in case), but the good news came really fast.

Feb 2011
I need to mention here, since last Eid Adha in 2010 hubby always in KL for work and not scheduled elsewhere.So I was practically happy! On 6th Feb, I found myself bleeding non-stop and I had suspected the worse. On 7th Feb, the doctor in PUSRAWI confirmed my fetus wasn't developing and later that evening, I had the worse stomach cramp ever and was rushed to the ER in PCMC. I was admitted for 3 days to undergone D&C (I had an almost complete abortion, almost, hence the D&C) and enjoyed 2 weeks of mini confinement at home.

Mar 2011
I believe I recovered quite well, physically and emotionally after that experience. Only to found the shocking news : hubby was asked for a long attachment (read: transfer minimum 1 year) to Brunei. They just set up a subsidiary company there and for most Oil and Gas engineers, this was like a dream come true (on the development of skills, experience, perks, etc). And they wanted him on the first day of April. So throughout this month his job is consoling his dear wife and assuring me everything will be fine, insya Allah. We'll work through this together (of course I didn't buy it though, but what else can I do?)

Apr 2011
He fled to Brunei for good. The arrangement is for me to stayed with my parents in Seremban and commute to work everyday. Although it was tiring, I found it manageable though, cause my Dad is also a frequent commuter for the last 20 years.At least I ada geng. Tapi it depends jugak I didn't commute the entire month, sometimes I just stayed in KL and went to the parents near and over the weekend. Just to spice things up, hubby got to go to Perth for a week's work and I happily drop everything and followed him :) Macam second honeymoon la pulak.

May 2011
In one of the weekend, I went to BWN to check on him. Since he was still on attachment, he stayed in a nice hotel and I am happy to tumpang sekaki. Oh I love staying in luxury hotels! (who doesn't?). We went around hujung ke hujung, sampai ke Kuala Belait (coincidentally a Malaysian family hosted a small event so we just came to mingle around) and near Limbang border. Can't belief we covered the whole Brunei in just one night! I went to Labuan for the first time since it took just 45 mins by ferry. We bought some choc, had a lunch by the beach, tumpang solat kat Grand Dorsett (too lazy to catch a taxi just to go to the nearest masjid) and back to BWN. This month also hubby got to go to Singapore for work too, and as always I ikut jugak, haha. Who can't resist to stay in a nice hotel near Orchard Road? Nak pergi sendiri kurang mampu.

June & July 2011
Highlight of the month is hubby's Away Day in Kota Kinabalu. I never been to KK before! So again I packed my things and met him there. Sutera Harbour had such an amazing scenery, it looks like postcards! Sampai my parents cakap dah muak dah every weekend asik pergi airport je haha.. These moves was inspired by one of my ex-manager, she said `Never worried about kids, they will come when the time comes. I dulu after 2 years baru dapat anak, sementara tu I enjoy je life dengan hubby. Kalau nak berjalan, angkat beg terus pergi, takyah fikir2'. Haha kata2 hikmat di situ. After this trip, I was so busy with work (if you want to make it sound technical, I've started my `Operations') and could not afford people covering me. Owh before I forgot, after my miscarriage and an away husband, the pressure to conceive has almost gone, unlike last year. I just go with the flow and even once asked hubby `Kita plan for a child bila abang balik for good lah?'. But instead he replied `takpe, tu kuasa Allah, kalau dia nak bagi dia bagi jugak'. I'm flattered!

Aug 2011
It was fasting month, and hubby promised to come home every weekend. I stayed at my parents' house the whole month coz the food is nicer at home for break fast. Haha. But one of the weekend he had a workshop, and since it was done in the most prestigous hotel in Brunei (Empire hotel) I happily booked a flight to BWN! Haha penatkan hidup camni.. tapi takpe alasannya adalah `tempat isteri di sisi suami'. Haha so I get to experience the fasting month in Brunei, alah same je cam tempat kita. This was also the first time I went to hubby's `rumah bujang' (cis nama je rumah bujang tapi sangat selesa) which he lived with his colleagues for the past 3 months. Late this month I received another surprising news: I conceived again alhamdulillah (despite our status as by-weekly couple-memang kuasa Allah kita tak boleh halang) after 6 months since my miscarriage. It looks like I got the most memorable Raya present ever!

Sept &Oct 2011
Raya2! Balik kampung Kedah and only then we popped the news to the inlaws. I wanted to keep it as a secret but hubby memang tak sabar2. After six weeks of conceiving, the most dreaded morning sickness strikes me. Tidak perlu detail, imagine kan aje. Walaupun setiap hari rase nak cuti, nak unpaid leave, tak larat nak bangun.. hehe. Alhamdulillah. I rase agak teruk jugak my sickness but I managed to go to the office most of the days. Maybe just 1-2 days of MC? Since hubby had started Operations and went to offshore quite a lot, I pendamkan aje desire nak merengek2 suruh hubby balik just because of my condition. Sedih kan I. Hahaha pathetic I know.ANd after 3 months of conceiving I dont really have the energy to commute from Seremban to work anymore, so I am in KL most of the time.

Nov&Dec 2011
A short trip to Hong Kong in mid Nov with the whole family (my side) termasuk budak kecik 2 orang tu..sangat seronok! Can't believe how fast time flies.. sedar tak sedar we'd been in LDR for 9 months already! Some good news: My PIL got transferred to KL and obtained a kuarters in Mindef HQ, which means they were now my neighbour!! Dapat jua ku menumpang kasih heheh. The dreaded news: Hubby was confirmed to extend his contract in Brunei or even consider a transfer package for that matter,atleast for another year. I guess it is wise to not grief about this fate too much, it is much easier to accept everything and pray for the best. We believe we'll get this through, insya Allah. After all we survived 9 months, no? Also my health is doing extremely well- Alhamdulillah I did not experience any difficulties or mishap(nauzubillah) throughout the pregnancy because I strongly believe Allah destined everything this way, and He is always there for us. So far hubby never missed any of my monthly check ups and that alone makes me (and baby) happy :)

OK that's about it on some note that I wish to rewind and retain in my memory in 2011. Hopefully 2012 will be a better year for all of us insya Allah :)

Self Obsession

Suka baca personal blog? Saya pun selalu baca jugak.. ada blog yang
bercerita tentang sekecil2 perkara sampai yang besar dan kompleks
untuk difahami. Kalau typical blog perempuan, akan cerita kehidupan
belajar, dari bangun pagi sampai la tidur malam, pastu bekerja, pastu
berkahwin dan ada 20 entry pasal kahwin je pastu pregnant, dapat anak,
dan 200 entry memang khusus untuk anak saje dan the list goes on. Juga
status facebook memang sah2 bercerita pasal diri je. Bak kata Ustaz
Hasrizal,`Penat ber`kawan' (friend) dengan orang anak sorang ni, anak
senyum pun cerita, anak gelak pun cerita, anak kelip mata pun cerita
jugak. huhu.

Bukanlah saya tak suka, saya faham itu satu fitrah. Tapi tak pasti
pulak `fitrah' ke zaman sekarang ni nak cerita semua benda yang
berlaku dalam hidup kat orang.. wallahua'lam I am no one to judge.
Mungkin boleh untuk fokus kepada perkara2 penting dengan tujuan
memorabilia atau untuk diambil pengajaran daripadanya, namun kalau
terlalu peribadi boleh ditimbang balik sesuai ke tidak untuk dikongsi
dengan orang lain. Lagipun tak bagus terlalu obses dengan diri sendiri
ni, perlu juga buka mata dan minda untuk menyelami hidup orang lain.

Contoh kalau kita obses sangat tentang persiapan perkahwinan kita,
kita terlintas tak nak fikir tentang kawan2 yang belum bertemu jodoh?
Atau sibuk cerita pasal anak, bagaimana dengan kawan2 yang sudah lama
berkahwin dan belum dikurniakan anak? Atau sibuk cerita pasal suami,
macam mana yang dah bersuami tapi dah setahun tak balik sebab suaminya
anggota MALBATT ke contohnye la.

This is MAINLY a reminder to myself.. supaya tidaklah diriku terlalu
obses dengan kehidupan sendiri sampai lupa orang lain. Sibuk rasa kita
lah paling susah, padahal orang lain tak terkata ujian yang menimpa
dan mereka tabah je dan takde pulak heboh cerita satu dunia.

Kepada yang sedang dilanda ujian, tabahlah sebab Allah sedang
berbicara dengan anda.. syukurlah sebab anda masih diberi perhatian
sehingga Allah communicate direct dengan anda :) Insya Allah Dia yang
memberi, Dia juga yang akan memberikan penyelesaian dan pengakhiran
terbaik.

Tukar alamat untuk mengundi

Ada banyak sebab anda mungkin nak tukar alamat pada kad pengenalan
atau tukar kad pengenalan sekarang. Mungkin sebab anda baru berpindah
rumah, ikut suami berpindah sebab baru kawin, atau saje nak tukar
sebab gambo kat IC dah tak valid (read: tak resemble keadaan fizikal
sekarang). Apa pentingnya tukar alamat kat IC? Paling penting sebab
nak mengundi untuk pilihan raya kot, kepentingan lain yet to figure
out.

Jadi itulah yang saya lakukan. Untuk pilihanraya sebelum ni saya tukar
alamat kat cip kad pengenalan untuk mengundi sebab masa tu tengah
belajar di kawasan Utara Semenanjung, so malas la balik rumah semata2
kan. Tukar kat cip jer, kat IC maintain alamat rumah parents. Pastu
selepas berumahtangga dan ada rumah di KL, sebagai pengundi
berdedikasi nak la tukar alamat ke kawasan rumah sekarang, namun tak
sangka niat yang suci murni menuntut kepayahan yang amat. Sebab
peristiwa ni bersifat kronologi jadi saya rumuskan dalam bentuk point
form ye :

1) Semua orang kata setakat nak tukar alamat boleh tukar kat pejabat
pos. Jadi saya telah ke pejabat pos berdekatan ofis dan nak tukar kat
cip jer la dan update daftar pengundi terus, sekali clerk tu cakap
diorang takder chip scanner so takleh tukar kat situ. Kalau nak tukar
ikut alamat yang tertera kat IC sekarang boleh. I rase cam nak belikan
jer chip scanner derma kat post office tu sebab bengang. Marah2 pun
masih noble kan.

2) Jadi langkah seterusnya, I kena ke JPN pulak.Tau je lah JPN ni kena
opis hour so satu hal nak cari masa gi sana, dah lah parking susah. I
dah isi borang tukar cip dan bayar RM2. Clerk menerima duit dengan
senang hati, dia cakap dia akan proses dan suruh I balik. I pun happy
sebagai pengundi berdedikasi I telah berusaha untuk menjayakan misi
sebagai pengundi. Tapi since they need time to process my application,
I plan to wait for them to finish then pastu baru gi SPR untuk update
alamat (langkah yang selepas itu I menyesal tak sudah. You should
never wait when dealing with government. Always FOLLOW UP!). Walaupun
ade versi mengatakan data kat JPN akan di sync dengan SPR every now
and then, ni wallahualam.

3) Setelah 5 bulan, I pun check la kat web SPR dengan harapan data kat
JPN dah di synchronize ngan SPR. Mereka kan berjanji daftar pengundi
akan update 3 bulan sekali. Tapi tidak pula berupdate. I pun telefon
SPR nak tanye status daftar pengundi I. Diorang cakap alamat I still
yg lama dan tak terima apa2 dari JPN pun, diorang suruh I contact JPN.
I contact JPN, clerk itu kebingungan kerana menurut mereka rekod I
takde dan suruh I datang opis. Cis bila pulak aku nak cuti semata2 nak
datang JPN yang opis hours tu.

4) Di satu hari yang hening I telah bercuti untuk ke JPN, pastu telah
dikejutkan dengan berita ` Permohonan puan takboleh diproses sebab cip
dalam IC dah rosak'. I was, whatt!! Pulangkan balik 2ringgit aku. Tapi
malas nak argue baik I sedekah je kat kerajaan pastu I pun kena wat IC
baru la kan, bayar RM10. gedebuk gedebak amik gambo semua dah setel,
sila amik IC anda dalam masa 2 minggu dari sekarang.

5) Good thing about JPN seremban ni SPR dia dekat building yang sama.
Jadi I terus ke pejabat SPR dan tukar alamat terus kat situ. Sonang
kojo den. Sonang apekah, benda yang patut setel 5 minit jadi 6 bulan
okeh. Sabar je untuk mendapat portion iman yang separuh itu.

6) Semestinya selepas 2 bulan baru I datang collect IC baru, takde cuti maa.

7) Sekarang I just have to wait and see serta membuka web SPR selalu2
untuk tengok status I. Setakat I check 30 saat yang lalu statusnyer
`Telah diterima dan sedang diproses'. Harap2 lancar la dan I dapat
mengundi dengan semangat yang tinggi pada PRU13 nanti insya Allah.

Kesimpulan:

Pergi daftar mengundi cepat! Undi lah~ Jangan tido, undilah~ Jangan
dok diam (refer video clip Namawee & Afdlin- owh I love this
clip.Paling comel part Datuk Rosnah nyanyi bahasa tamil depan sekolah
dengan cikgu2) . Apa2 alasan korang pun utk menegakkan pendirian takmo
mengundi, with all due respect, I think all your reasons are lame and
immature. Orang Zimbabwe pun pandai turun mengundi tau. Kalau perlu
tukar alamat, tukar je cepat takyah pikir2 sempat ke idok. Yang
penting youdo what youhavetodo.

The Beauty of Giving

Need not to emphasize, I believe most people had experience the beauty
of giving, whether we realize it or not. I am an avid believer of this
beautiful concept, and I did experience alot of thing that somehow
perhaps (insya Allah) caused by the act of giving.

Like today, I just give something to someone and suddenly, almost
immediately, hubby called and surprised me `Abang balik esok :)'
padahal sebelum ni dah declare siap2 tak balik minggu ni walaupun cuti
panjang coz nak balik minggu depan and kena cover colleagues yang cuti
hujung tahun. Huhu sib baek takde drama airmata di situ kalau tak
segan I.

Even alot of Islamic scholars encouraged giving or donating if you
want your wish to be fulfilled.. including if you want a child or
something that you wished for some time but haven't got it. Coz
eventually, giving away makes you gain more and more! Honestly, when I
was trying to conceive, I did this too and it work wonders,
alhamdulillah.

The best part of giving is, the recipient always pray for you and that
is what I treasure the most. Just imagine orang yang berdoa untuk you
adalah orang yang mustajab doanya, sedangkan kita sendiri berdoa dan
ada hijab without us knowing (nauzubillah)? Subhanallah the result is
always amazing :)

Make it a habit that everytime you log in/go to the ATM to check at
the amount of money in your account, always transfer some allocated
amount to the needy/someone before you log out. Be it RM10 pun takpe,
it will grow more and will never stop! Somebody told me,if you want to
be a millionaire, the number one thing you should do is giving a lot,
insya Allah you will reach your goal. Since being a millionaire is
also my dream goal, I want to implement this tip too!

:) Today is a happy happy day, hence the positive vibe :)