Monday, November 26, 2012

Senjata yang hilang

Lately i think my emotion is more fragile for some reasons.. Mostly it was triggered by small things,sometimes so small its just not worthy in my daily life. Things which supposedly do not bug me too much, needless to say i realistically must be alot happier because ive reunited with my small family in this short but meaningful vacation. It is very meaningful, i would call it my (again)soul searching period to venture and define the options i may have in living my life.

I said options,  because iam not the ultimate planner of my is purely His choice.its just that i hope i will see the lights and find the right path. Not the path that i desired, but the path that He desired and destined for me.Quoting Ust Hasrizal in one of his book, like the journey of Nabi Musa that found the oddest in life,and is there Nabi Khidir that will show me the rationale of each taqdir? Only my journey and mehnah is nothing compared to theirs, or even more people in the world who live a tougher life but still a strong devotees to Allah.

Who am i to choose what i want in life? What i want will not be necessarily the same as what He wants.
I only wanted what is best for me in life, according to His rule, that will guide me to Jannah.
I know to gain that is never easy,but small steps in the right direction will lead me to somewhere,right?
I need to make sure i am in the right direction. Maybe a few sidesteps along the way,but the direction is sure.macam arah mata angin.macam arah kiblat.
And how to ensure my direction is right, for me is to making the journey process right.
I need to readopt again all the methods and processes ive  known and learned before,which some i may had left along the way.its time to collect them back and of course, strengthen them.
I am talking about Muslims secret weapons.solat yang khusyuk and awal waktu, berjemaah mathurat, solat sunat-dhuha,tahajjud,qobliah bakdiah,taubat,hajat,witir, daily quran recitations,complete covering of aurats..and many more that  might have slipped somewhere along my journey.

I dont want to be diluted in the world of rich and famous, in the world of feeling superior and important, and the feeling of only me is right, others are wrong.
YA ALLAH! please save me from the worst feeling a person should have - hubbuldunya and forgetting akhirat.

A baby on a plane

Well im not an expert on this.i just had experienced carrying my baby for 4 return flights(1 long haul,the others are 2+ hrs flights) in less than 2months time.However it worth to note a few points as a guide for the anxious expected mothers out there especially the one who requested  me to jot down this little tips :-)
1.understand your baby.
I believe all mothers had different experience with baby on a basic rule is always to understand your baby-their sleeping patterns,poo routine etc.
2.mummy need to be calm and colllected.
Most first time mother will tend to overworry before deciding to carry and infant on board.we afraid that she will cry non stop, will be affected with the altitude difference,etc. Well you never know what you will face until u actually experience it,right? So dont worry much,just hop on the plane.if u are lucky your baby is easygoing and will sleep throughout the journey:-)
3.make sure baby's essentials in hand luggage.
It worth to bring along a bag special for baby's basic needs-milk,food,simple toys/books,some extra clothes,diapers, etc.if you plan to travel light,here's some tips:
i.if ur baby fully breastfeed,good for you coz it means less things to pack.but never forget your nursing cover ya.
ii.if your baby on formula,be ready of a bottle of milk siap bancuh before u check top up,just bring the milk in single dispensable container and empty milk flight,ask the stewardess to provide the warm can also ask their help to clean the bottles for you.
iii.pillow and blanket are usually provided,no need to bring. cookies and simple food ie baby cereals is handy on plane.
V.put on long sleeves and long pants,i found baby sweater is renyah and no time to remove/wear to adjust with plane temperature.socks are essential! handling
Baby feeding:bring along the essentials ie bottles/feeding bowl n spoon, etc.never forget baby bib!
Baby sleeping:usually when u check in with your infant they will allocate a seat with baby bassinatte.its good if ur baby can sleep by herself in the bassinate so you can be more comfortable once your baby baby jenis light sleeper and bassinate mmg x membantu langsung
La kalau dah pantang bergerak je dia terjaga kan.btw AA short flights doesnt offer any bassinate.
Baby pooing:you can change the diaper in the toilet that have nappy change facilities.dont change at your seat!
Strollers are essential while travelling and should never be left behind.some mothers love to use sling, but if ur petite like me its not a good may end up with body ache (just imagine normal baby at 2mo weighs 5+ kg.itu baru 2mo!)

Thursday, October 04, 2012

hari ke 4

hari ke 3? mihun goreng huhu
*hangat2 chicken shit*
but i ate bananas for both apology accepted? :)

Monday, October 01, 2012

back to healthy food

its been a year since my pregnancy until last week,i dont really watch my breakfast intake as i used to.everyday starts with nasi lemak or nasi goreng n sometimes roti canai.kasihan usu dan badanku need to cope with the excessive oil and fats! so minggu ni mendapat semangat utk kmbali ke mknn sihat seperti i nk buat simple food journal sikit..hehe
yesterday's n today's breakfast.kite tgk esok cner.. hehe

Sunday, September 30, 2012

itchy and scratchy

amna woke up at 5am because she kept tossing n turning while scratching her forehead n head.. mommy suspected she had mild rashes due to heat n other words-her eczema strikes!dont worry dear mommy knows exactly how u feel..anyway from whom you actually inherit it in the first place?
so mommy applied some aqueous cream hoping it will reduce the itchiness.althougg hydrocortisone is the fastest remedy mommy will avoid it as much as i can. while mommy thought tropika oil is as good as hair oil and earth mommy angel baby balm works..slow?
get well dear!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

i miss u like crazy

i miss u like crazy
even more than words can say
i miss u like crazy
every minute and every day
sayang i'm so down
when your love's not around
i miss u,miss u,miss u
i miss u like crazy

-the moffats

Monday, June 04, 2012

Natural Parenting?

Well it is only normal for new parent to talk about parenthood right? :) So I shall write a few of my thoughts here. In case you're wondering why I did not showcasing my baby too much in this blog, actually those precious moments were captured in other personal blog for the eyes of her father (mainly), and also as a remembrance for the good years to come insya Allah.

I believe `natural parenting' is the in thing for the young and new parents nowadays. Personally I was quite confused with this term, which made me ended up googling and searching for the true definition of the term. It is mainly about understanding the child's behavior and not forcing them into things that is not their norm. But is there a strict guideline to differentiate natural parenting from other parenting practices?

For me, all babies have their own unique behaviors, and most importantly is for the parents to recognize and compliment their uniqueness. However, to recognize our baby's unique features will take some time and a lot of try and error, and this is where most parents, whom may have different experience and knowledge,  end up with perhaps, different judgements (read: NOT wrong) in raising their children.

Personally I had my own difficulties and challenges in raising my baby which I shall not detail it out here - Amna is a moderate baby, not so easy nor so hard to handle. Let me tell you, my baby didn't suckle, she just scream on top of her lungs whenever she need something which made me go crazy at times. The hardest part is always the first few weeks, but later when she learnt the routine it will be much easier for baby and Mummy. Along the way, baby soothers do help especially when she is very cranky and refuse to sleep at night! I've tried pacifiers but it did not work with my baby, she just refused to it the minute I put into her mouth. Later I tried baby swing (buaian) and it works wonders.. so Mummy and baby are happier and managed to catch up quality sleeps together:-)

However a few weeks later, she doesnt like the swing so much and we resorted to sway around,almost dancing to put her to sleep.i mean, logically it's principal is the same as buaian,no?And this lasted until she's 3 mo old.After that she changed her preference again-she loves to nurse to sleep, just like when she was a newborn until now.but when she stayed with her Wan, pandai pulak tido pakai buaian o_O Yes we still rely to electric swing during the day when her grandma babysits her while I am working.coz if not nanti Wan x dpt masak plak asik ngadap dia jer.

And that is just about baby soothers, we have not even go into details to other topics i.e cloth diapers,organic stuffs,etc. Perhaps i will write more after this.i dont know what took me so long to install blogger app in my galaxy s/tab,huhu.

Different babies have their own unique behaviors, and we shall recognize this fact before we judge.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Post Natal- Nights in the Hospital


I was quite shocked on the challenges I faced after delivery.. I thought delivery was the worst part so I prepared myself mentally just for that.. rupanya banyak lagi yang menunggu terutama minggu pertama jaga anak. Just some chronology of my experience so Mummy won't forget :)

Day 1 (24/4) 
Amna Sofia lahir pukul 8.35pm, pastu terus rooming in start from 10.30pm. Bajet terer padahal blur gila taktau nak wat apa..huhu baby nangis kita pun susukan je, check pampers and everything. Bila dah tengah malam.. tetiba baby nangis kuat xtau apsal, terus panggil nurse and nurse cakap baby sejuk (ktorang bukak aircond tapi sikit je..still lah kan). Nurse amik Amna gi Nursery utk warmkan, then Amna balik bilik lepas 1.5 hours. First night ni memang Mummy & Daddy tak tido la jaga baby.

Day 2 (25/4)
Amna masih baby yang kesejukan so air cond memang totally off. Siang tu ramai uncles and aunties datang tengok dia.. happy la dia banyak hadiah dapat. Amna sejuk sampai gigil2 taktau kenapa.. pastu sembang2 tu Kak Ecah tetiba tanya my Mom 'Makcik, uri dia kat mana?' Then my Mom goes ` Ya Allah baru teringat ada dalam peti ais.. orang tua2 kata uri tu kembar baby'. Mane la I tau kan. Memang nampak cam illogical tapi in my case kebetulan ianya benar. Terus Daddy and my inlaws gi balik umah Mama tanam uri. Pastu baby dah tak kesejukan lagi. Alhamdulillah.
When night arrives, sekali lagi Mummy tak tido malam sebab Amna macam restless dan asik bangun  nangis mintak susu. Mummy pun join nangis sebab sedih tak pandai jaga baby, huhu felt like a bad mother :(

Day 3 (26/4)
Pagi2 nurse from nursery called dan cakap my baby ade crystallized urine, maksudnya dia tak dapat cukup susu.  I nangis lagi sebab sedih cara dia cakap cam I tak bagi susu padahal smalaman tak tido..sedih2. Today walaupun dah boleh discharge sebenarnya tapi saja nak stay satu malam lagi untuk monitor baby. Malam ni I mengalami pengalaman menyeksakan untuk setiap breastfeeding mummies : bengkak susu. Huhu takleh tido wey, sampai nangis2 tahan sakit. Nurse pun datang ajar cara2 nak mengatasi masalah ni.. yang penting susu kena dikeluarkan jugak n takde shortcut (I penatla tanya kalo ade medication ke apa tapi takde.hampa lagi) Tapi tau je lah benda ni amik masa nk baik..Mak dah pressure dah kata kau ni takde susu ni.. and suruh bagi FM. Pressure I tauu sib baik hubby gave his fullest support to me.

Day 4 (27/4)
Dah siap2 nak discharge ni, tiba2 Nurse call kata my baby ada sikit jaundice, reading 11.7. Kena tahan lagi satu malam.. dan sambil menanggung bengkak susu gi la jugak feeding anak kat Nursery. Dalam hati risau sangat my baby dehydrated, tak cukup makan semua.. tau je la early stage of bengkak susu, mmg susu tak keluar/sikit je keluar. Sakit dia Allah je yang tau.. mujur dok kat Nursery tu ade Midwife yang baik hati ajar camne nk buat-basically kalau bengkak susu for first time Mom sebabnye adalah milk duct tersumbat, so kena clear kan path dia and make sure semua duct flowing. Maka malam tu tak tido jugak disebabkan aktiviti tuam menuam dan hand expression. Amna stay nursery sebab jaundice. Oh sebab baby jaundice ni pun my mom and inlaws dah risau melampau, sibuk cari susu kambing nak bagi baby utk redakan jaundice walaupun mati2 I defend taknak bagi baby apa2 selain breast milk.

Day 5 (28/4)
Pagi ni dah sakit2 badan dah lama sangat dok hospital. Juga I rase I kena gak tempias post natal depression di mana semua orang high expectation, sibuk ajar camni camtu and masuk campur in every ways..pressure I tau.penat gak la husband tenangkan I. Nurse kat sini pun satu jugak, taula hospital ni support breastfeeding n rooming in policy semua tapi ajar laa dulu first time mothers kan, ni main baby klahir terus masuk room je and pandai2 kau laa nk breastfeeding ka buat apa ka. Bukan semua orang terus terer menyusu anak. Tapi for a few nurses tu I memang salute habis sebab ajar I (walaupun setelah mengalami kegagalan & bengkak susu baru nak ajar, tu pun bila kita mengadu sakit la), terima kasih banyak2. Dah nak kemas2 barang ni pastu Nurse cakap my baby's jaundice naik sikit.. so kena warded lagi. Adeh dah la Dr dah bagi discharge form. Terpaksa stay another night :( Muak dah dok spital. Sib baik rumah dekat so bleh la husband ulang alik amik baju semua, and Mom & MIL pon gilir2 antar makanan utk org pantang la katekan. Huhu. Harini dah bersemangat sikit, bengkak susu pon dah kurang. Mujur I bawak jugak breastpump sendiri coz after hand expression pam jugak utk cepat keluarkan susu yang tersumbat tu supaya flow lancar. Berdoa je Amna boleh balik the next day sebab dah tak larat dok hospital, dan penat berulang alik Nursery utk feeding baby. Dah la malam ni room fee kena bayar sendiri sebab dikira as Lodger, and insurance tak cover.

Day 6 (29/4)
Bangun pagi dengan happy (tak sabar nak balik), dah tak bengkak susu and flow lancar. Menyusu Amna pon dah relax jer.. :) dan alhamdulillah finally reading jaundice Amna dah turun and dapat discharge harini.  Btw I did not give Amna susu kambing yer sebab my MIL akhirnya convinced yang baby memang takleh minum susu lain selain breastmilk:)  Yeay yeay lepas settle semua balik umah kemas barang, then petang tu jugak balik rumah my Mom utk berpantang. Lama kan dok spital.. huhu tak larat dah. My Mom plak concern dia sebab I blom start berurut dan berpantang (bengkung,pilis,etc) lagi.. haha. OK lah akhirnye setelah 5 nights berkampung kat hospital kami pun pulang.

Kesimpulannye, selepas bersalin ada lagi banyak cabaran dan dugaan especially utk first time mommies.. in my case I have some breastfeeding issue and sib baik dapat resolve cepat. Di samping itu anda juga takkan lari daripada pressure pihak ketiga, be it your husband, parents & in laws, family, etc which lead to    post natal depression - kerana anda dianggap sebagai first time mommy yang taktau apa2. So kena kuat lah.. and very important for the husband to support the wife from the beginning especially on things yang memerlukan decision pantas. Huhu the End!

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

My Labor Experience


Assalamualaykum and hi all,

While my baby is sleeping, I wish to recall my labor experience so I won't forget it - sebagai rujukan anda dan juga untuk my labor akan datang jugak (hihi).

Secara keseluruhannya tiada yang pelik sangat my experience pun. Cuma pada Week 38, cam biasa la badan dah rasa berat tapi masih boleh gi office pada waktu pagi, tengah hari juga boleh lagi gi Foodcourt Level 2 beli makanan (tapi L4 dah tak larat dah nak gi). Atau kalau tak larat sgt tapau je kat any kedai makan ground floor.

Maka pada hari Selasa minggu itu telah pergi check-up dengan Dr, and Dr perasan I cam letih jer and bila scan baby estimated 3.27kg. Dr dah risau sebab I mentioned awal2 nak normal delivery, memandangkan saiz badan I yang kecik dia risau I tak dapat realisasikan impian I kalau tunggu sampai W40.. huhu takut baby besar. Maka dia kata `Nak induce tak? You dah W38 should be OK'.. and you dah open 1cm ni'. Terkejut gak dengar doctor cakap camtu. Sebab sejak W37 me and husband (he works in KL for 1-2 months sebab I nak deliver) asyik cakap ngan baby suruh keluar awal supaya Daddy ade banyak masa nak main ngan dia sebelum kena balik Brunei late May.. haha. Lagipun I dah tak larat sebenarnya. Gi opis pon bukan leh fokus sangat, mujur kerja2 urgent dah settle and dah wat handover. So Dr bagi MC seminggu suruh fikir nak induce anytime dalam this week, if undecided or takde tanda2 lagi dia bagi date 24/4 (W39) untuk induce labor (IOL).

So kami balik dah berfikir, mestila nak keluarkan baby cepat kalau takde pape risiko kan. But at the back of my mind I mmg day terfikir banyak jug kes IOL ni berakhir dengan c-sec sebab opening of servix tak bukak2 sampai sudah..but later I believe semua orang ada bahagian dan rezeki massing, dan cerita bersalin ni setiap orang memang berbeza. So we all tekad la nk induce hari Khamis, so Rabu malam dah pack2 barang gi hospital utk admitted. My parents yang dah risau sebab I cakap Dr bagi option untuk induce, telah tiba di rumah I dan mengantar ke hospital together with my in-laws (I sekarang berjiran ngan mertua so diorang ade je la kat KL ni).

Bila dah sampai hospital, nurse bawak gi labor room utk CTG (check contraction and heart beat baby). Contraction sikit2 je dan opening takde progress lagi. Pastu nurse gi confirm dengan Dr and sekali dia kata Dr suruh I balik. Aik..haritu kata boleh datang anytime. Huhu rasanya Dr taknak amik risiko kot and  tunggu la next week supaya baby mature sikit dalam perut.. or kalau dapat natural contraction lagi bagus. So kami pun terpakse laa balik, dah la sampai tadi siap dia tolak pakai wheelchair, tapi balik nurse suruh balik sendiri jer. Huhu so kami pun gelak2 dan singgah kedai mamak makan supper sebelum pulang. Cis penat je takut sehari semalam.. tapi bak kata my mom Allah dah tetapkan tarikh setiap orang lahir, mati and everything in between.. so belum lagi masa my baby to meet the world kot. Bapak mertua I cakap takpe, ni kita raptai sebelum betul2 hari nak bersalin nanti. Haha.

Sebab dah dapat MC seminggu (mase ni I W38), I pun berehat2 di rumah sambil tawaf shopping complex kat KL ni setiap hari without fail. Sogo,Pavillion,OU,KLCC.. you name it dengan harapan supaya dapat la natural contraction sebab banyak berjalan. Sampai la hari Isnin (W39), takde pape pun tanda..huhu jadi kami mempersiapkan lah barang2 sebab dalam record dah tulis IOL on 24/4, so Isnin (23/4) malam dah kena admitted sebab procedure start Selasa pagi. Kali ni kalau kena halau dengan nurse I nak saman hospital ni. So another entourage to send me and husband to hospital, this time for real. So we got a room, I was given ubat untuk buang air besar and then prepare2 untuk tido.

The rest I put in chronological manner yea memudahkan pembacaan :

6 am - Nurse datang masukkan tablet utk induce (instead of drip)
8.30 am - Dr datang check I and kata OS still 1cm, takde progress. Huhu sedikit kecewa di situ. I dah start rasa contraction, kejap sakit kejap tak.
9.30 am - Masuk labor room. Ingatkan saje2 nak check lagi rupanya I memang kena stay sini sampai bersalin. My husband bawak laptop bagai sebab nak kena submit satu Contract urgent (sempat lagi kan).
Contraction makin kuat, tapi kena jadi kuat dan abaikan je kesakitan itu.
10 am - Dr datang check I, OS still 1 cm. Dia tengok I dah menderita kesakitan, contraction dah agar high 60-70 camtu. Dr suggest I amik pethidine (painkiller), sebab takleh terus amik epidural sebab taktau lagi berapa lama dalam labor. I pon amik la tak tahan sangat. there goes my plan konon2 taknak amik pape painkiller, huhu. I pujuk diri, ni rezeki masing2..nurse siap cakap jangan compare kita dengan orang lain sebab setiap orang lain pain threshold and experience diorang.
1 pm - Contraction dah sampai 100 at times, tapi opening baru 2-3cm. Nurse ajar pakai Entonox gas plak untuk reduce sakit. I cam dah nak pengsan tahan sakit dahlah tak bleh makan, air pun minum sikit je.
3 pm - OS 4cm. Dr tanya nak tak amik epidural so that I bleh relax sikit untuk prepare for labor. I berkira2 gak takmo, tapi sebab sakit sangat2 dah setengah hari dalam LR I pon tawakkal dan husband pun izinkan so amik je, I believe ni bahagian I yang Allah dah tentukan. After masuk epidural I relax sikit, tapi contraction still rasa so boleh teran masa nak deliver nanti. So kesimpulannya I memang amik ketiga2 pain killer yang disediakan utk orang bersalin, huhu.
6.00 pm - Nurses dah start sediakan barang2 utk bersalin.
7.30 pm - 8 cm sudah. Dr and nurses dah masuk and take their positions. Dr suruh push macam orang meneran buang air bear/sembelit. Sebab masa pregnant 7-8 months tu I ada experience sembelit sikit, so I did exactly that and Dr kata `Good job! Pandai mama!Teran lagi! Come on!' Jadi dengan tenaga yang masih bersisa I pun teran sambil bear in mind jangan kuat sgt nanti koyak banyak. Huhu husband kat sebelah pun bagi semangat!
8.35 pm - Alhamdulillah Amna Sofia lahir ke dunia. Keluar2 terus merengek. Tapi last push tu Mummy dah baby dah penat sangat lama dalam labor so Amna kena vacuum sikit. Mummy terharu berlinang gak air mata.. alhamdulillah walaupun 12 hours in labour Allah permudah urusan melahirkan. Stitches pun sikit jer.. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar.
10.00 pm - Lepas Mummy and baby siap semua, masuk room disambut my parents & inlaws dan Yap. My inlaws paling happy sebab sambut cucu sulung. Amna ditahnik dengan air zamzam dan madu.

OK the end of the first part.. later I sambung Post Natal pulak. Ngantuk dah. Bye!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

LDR Blues..

*LDR - long distance relationship
1. Eventhough my life is easier that I don't need to attend to his
basic needs i.e washing clothes, ironing, cooking for him etc, but I
do feel guilty/terkilan coz he need to do everything by himself in the
absence of his wife
2. Everytime he travels around for work, I could not help to think
about cukup ke baju dia bawak, sempat ke basuh baju, berus gigi
tertinggal ke those kind of stuff
3. The guilt he feels everytime his wife experienced mood swing and
broke down in the middle of phone conversation, let alone the
unintentionally accusatory words i.e. kesian sayang tinggal sorang2,
sampai hati abang tak balik etc
4. The dilemma he faces whether to stay or go back to KL to a cranky
wife when weekend arrives, especially when the plane ticket needs to
be paid using own money. Sometimes the plane fee can reach more than
5. The sympathetic tone and awkwardness when friends and relatives
tanya takpe ke dok jauh2 nie, takpe ke dok sorang2, can you manage?
what about your safety, taknak quit your job?unpaid leave etc macam
lah kita ni ada banyak option..
6. the dynamic and uncertain schedule for outside of work activities
i.e. programs, meeting friends, my case its always tie to
whether my husband balik or not (which has no fix date and duration)
7. During my first year of marriage, among the mounted issue is to try
to conceive..
8. When the second year comes, the big issue is I'm pregnant and alone
and how can I raise a child without a husband around?
9. The constant prayers and tawakal kepada Allah, even sometimes we do
grieve and cry but the most important thing is to accept the fate, and
try hard to put things into pieces in whatever means.. insya Allah,
Allah tolong kita along the way. In my case, all the time!
All in all, leaves everything to Him, since He is the ultimate planner
of our lives.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

At 33 weeks

- Ma dah bising i tak ready lagi hospital bag
- I bagi alasan sebab tak sempat2 lagi basuh baju baby utk bawak dalam hospital bag
- Tetiba Icrave to buy new maternity clothes. Kau kenape.. baper minggu je lagi tinggal
- At this stage I watched my food intake very carefully. A useful tip is never have any junkfood stock in the house, or else bangun tengah malam sebab craving potato chips atau air sprite. Hubby please take note and don't stock the house with junkfood! Nanti I makan habis!
- To date, my pregnancy weight gain is already more than I planned! Argh! I plan nak naik 10kg jer sepanjang pregnant(dream of the impossible)
- Alhamdulillah to date I have a very healthy pregnancy. Allah permudahkan urusanku :)
- Malam2 dah taknasik coz takut heartburn and takleh tido sebab kenyang sangat. Unless kalo mak mentua ajak makan ler hewhew ( eh aku pon dah terikut2 gelak camtuh)
- My Shaklee ESP helps me to fight constipation problem. Already on my 2nd canister :)
- I memang rajin makan supplement (eh tu pun nak cakap takde motif)
- Sekarang dah avoid drive long distance takut leg cramp. Tapi ade skali KL banjir aritu terperangkap dalam jem 1.5 hours mase balik dari ofis..seb baik tak cramp and selamat sampai ke rumah.
- Baju2 baby tak berani beli banyak atas nasihat ramai orang.Tapi nanti kalau dia tak cukup baju??
- Sekarang malam2 selalu penat and ngantuk awal so dah tak berape mengada sgt bila hubby tepon malam2
- Baru teringat baby bath tub and car seat tak beli lagi. Abang i know yu read this, lets get them when you come home nanti ok!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Susu ILHAM has been restocked!

Sorry to inform that Susu ILHAM is currently out of stock in my place.. you may find it from other reseller or get it a the HQ itself :) Thanks all for the support :)

*sticky post*
Susu ILHAM has been restocked ye! Check my other blog :) >>
Are you pregnant/breastfeeding mommies/has toddlers/or just want to live healthily and consume sunnah food? Susu ILHAM is for you!

Friday, January 20, 2012

2011 Reminiscence

*I've prepared this around new year's eve but forgot to post it.Sorry for the delay!*

My 2011 was coloured with a lot of milestones and memorable moments. I felt like having a hardbound diary just to remember this year, but is there any point of having a diary at the very end of the year? Haha perhaps I can try for next year.

Jan 2011
The year started with a family trip with hubby's family and my birthday celebration (thanks honey!) to Guangzhou, China. Our intention is actually to look for small business opportunity and only Mama managed to start her own! She bought 30 beautiful evening clutches (or some of us referred to it as dinner bags) and it was a big hit among her friends and relatives. This was a rough and hectic journey, but we love every moment of it! Later when we come home, I found my pregnancy test was positive. I conceived! After one year of marriage. It was such a sweet birthday present for us. To be honest, we'd planned to start to meet some Gynae to check our fertility status (just in case), but the good news came really fast.

Feb 2011
I need to mention here, since last Eid Adha in 2010 hubby always in KL for work and not scheduled elsewhere.So I was practically happy! On 6th Feb, I found myself bleeding non-stop and I had suspected the worse. On 7th Feb, the doctor in PUSRAWI confirmed my fetus wasn't developing and later that evening, I had the worse stomach cramp ever and was rushed to the ER in PCMC. I was admitted for 3 days to undergone D&C (I had an almost complete abortion, almost, hence the D&C) and enjoyed 2 weeks of mini confinement at home.

Mar 2011
I believe I recovered quite well, physically and emotionally after that experience. Only to found the shocking news : hubby was asked for a long attachment (read: transfer minimum 1 year) to Brunei. They just set up a subsidiary company there and for most Oil and Gas engineers, this was like a dream come true (on the development of skills, experience, perks, etc). And they wanted him on the first day of April. So throughout this month his job is consoling his dear wife and assuring me everything will be fine, insya Allah. We'll work through this together (of course I didn't buy it though, but what else can I do?)

Apr 2011
He fled to Brunei for good. The arrangement is for me to stayed with my parents in Seremban and commute to work everyday. Although it was tiring, I found it manageable though, cause my Dad is also a frequent commuter for the last 20 years.At least I ada geng. Tapi it depends jugak I didn't commute the entire month, sometimes I just stayed in KL and went to the parents near and over the weekend. Just to spice things up, hubby got to go to Perth for a week's work and I happily drop everything and followed him :) Macam second honeymoon la pulak.

May 2011
In one of the weekend, I went to BWN to check on him. Since he was still on attachment, he stayed in a nice hotel and I am happy to tumpang sekaki. Oh I love staying in luxury hotels! (who doesn't?). We went around hujung ke hujung, sampai ke Kuala Belait (coincidentally a Malaysian family hosted a small event so we just came to mingle around) and near Limbang border. Can't belief we covered the whole Brunei in just one night! I went to Labuan for the first time since it took just 45 mins by ferry. We bought some choc, had a lunch by the beach, tumpang solat kat Grand Dorsett (too lazy to catch a taxi just to go to the nearest masjid) and back to BWN. This month also hubby got to go to Singapore for work too, and as always I ikut jugak, haha. Who can't resist to stay in a nice hotel near Orchard Road? Nak pergi sendiri kurang mampu.

June & July 2011
Highlight of the month is hubby's Away Day in Kota Kinabalu. I never been to KK before! So again I packed my things and met him there. Sutera Harbour had such an amazing scenery, it looks like postcards! Sampai my parents cakap dah muak dah every weekend asik pergi airport je haha.. These moves was inspired by one of my ex-manager, she said `Never worried about kids, they will come when the time comes. I dulu after 2 years baru dapat anak, sementara tu I enjoy je life dengan hubby. Kalau nak berjalan, angkat beg terus pergi, takyah fikir2'. Haha kata2 hikmat di situ. After this trip, I was so busy with work (if you want to make it sound technical, I've started my `Operations') and could not afford people covering me. Owh before I forgot, after my miscarriage and an away husband, the pressure to conceive has almost gone, unlike last year. I just go with the flow and even once asked hubby `Kita plan for a child bila abang balik for good lah?'. But instead he replied `takpe, tu kuasa Allah, kalau dia nak bagi dia bagi jugak'. I'm flattered!

Aug 2011
It was fasting month, and hubby promised to come home every weekend. I stayed at my parents' house the whole month coz the food is nicer at home for break fast. Haha. But one of the weekend he had a workshop, and since it was done in the most prestigous hotel in Brunei (Empire hotel) I happily booked a flight to BWN! Haha penatkan hidup camni.. tapi takpe alasannya adalah `tempat isteri di sisi suami'. Haha so I get to experience the fasting month in Brunei, alah same je cam tempat kita. This was also the first time I went to hubby's `rumah bujang' (cis nama je rumah bujang tapi sangat selesa) which he lived with his colleagues for the past 3 months. Late this month I received another surprising news: I conceived again alhamdulillah (despite our status as by-weekly couple-memang kuasa Allah kita tak boleh halang) after 6 months since my miscarriage. It looks like I got the most memorable Raya present ever!

Sept &Oct 2011
Raya2! Balik kampung Kedah and only then we popped the news to the inlaws. I wanted to keep it as a secret but hubby memang tak sabar2. After six weeks of conceiving, the most dreaded morning sickness strikes me. Tidak perlu detail, imagine kan aje. Walaupun setiap hari rase nak cuti, nak unpaid leave, tak larat nak bangun.. hehe. Alhamdulillah. I rase agak teruk jugak my sickness but I managed to go to the office most of the days. Maybe just 1-2 days of MC? Since hubby had started Operations and went to offshore quite a lot, I pendamkan aje desire nak merengek2 suruh hubby balik just because of my condition. Sedih kan I. Hahaha pathetic I know.ANd after 3 months of conceiving I dont really have the energy to commute from Seremban to work anymore, so I am in KL most of the time.

Nov&Dec 2011
A short trip to Hong Kong in mid Nov with the whole family (my side) termasuk budak kecik 2 orang tu..sangat seronok! Can't believe how fast time flies.. sedar tak sedar we'd been in LDR for 9 months already! Some good news: My PIL got transferred to KL and obtained a kuarters in Mindef HQ, which means they were now my neighbour!! Dapat jua ku menumpang kasih heheh. The dreaded news: Hubby was confirmed to extend his contract in Brunei or even consider a transfer package for that matter,atleast for another year. I guess it is wise to not grief about this fate too much, it is much easier to accept everything and pray for the best. We believe we'll get this through, insya Allah. After all we survived 9 months, no? Also my health is doing extremely well- Alhamdulillah I did not experience any difficulties or mishap(nauzubillah) throughout the pregnancy because I strongly believe Allah destined everything this way, and He is always there for us. So far hubby never missed any of my monthly check ups and that alone makes me (and baby) happy :)

OK that's about it on some note that I wish to rewind and retain in my memory in 2011. Hopefully 2012 will be a better year for all of us insya Allah :)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Self Obsession

Suka baca personal blog? Saya pun selalu baca jugak.. ada blog yang
bercerita tentang sekecil2 perkara sampai yang besar dan kompleks
untuk difahami. Kalau typical blog perempuan, akan cerita kehidupan
belajar, dari bangun pagi sampai la tidur malam, pastu bekerja, pastu
berkahwin dan ada 20 entry pasal kahwin je pastu pregnant, dapat anak,
dan 200 entry memang khusus untuk anak saje dan the list goes on. Juga
status facebook memang sah2 bercerita pasal diri je. Bak kata Ustaz
Hasrizal,`Penat ber`kawan' (friend) dengan orang anak sorang ni, anak
senyum pun cerita, anak gelak pun cerita, anak kelip mata pun cerita
jugak. huhu.
Bukanlah saya tak suka, saya faham itu satu fitrah. Tapi tak pasti
pulak `fitrah' ke zaman sekarang ni nak cerita semua benda yang
berlaku dalam hidup kat orang.. wallahua'lam I am no one to judge.
Mungkin boleh untuk fokus kepada perkara2 penting dengan tujuan
memorabilia atau untuk diambil pengajaran daripadanya, namun kalau
terlalu peribadi boleh ditimbang balik sesuai ke tidak untuk dikongsi
dengan orang lain. Lagipun tak bagus terlalu obses dengan diri sendiri
ni, perlu juga buka mata dan minda untuk menyelami hidup orang lain.
Contoh kalau kita obses sangat tentang persiapan perkahwinan kita,
kita terlintas tak nak fikir tentang kawan2 yang belum bertemu jodoh?
Atau sibuk cerita pasal anak, bagaimana dengan kawan2 yang sudah lama
berkahwin dan belum dikurniakan anak? Atau sibuk cerita pasal suami,
macam mana yang dah bersuami tapi dah setahun tak balik sebab suaminya
anggota MALBATT ke contohnye la.
This is MAINLY a reminder to myself.. supaya tidaklah diriku terlalu
obses dengan kehidupan sendiri sampai lupa orang lain. Sibuk rasa kita
lah paling susah, padahal orang lain tak terkata ujian yang menimpa
dan mereka tabah je dan takde pulak heboh cerita satu dunia.
Kepada yang sedang dilanda ujian, tabahlah sebab Allah sedang
berbicara dengan anda.. syukurlah sebab anda masih diberi perhatian
sehingga Allah communicate direct dengan anda :) Insya Allah Dia yang
memberi, Dia juga yang akan memberikan penyelesaian dan pengakhiran