Sunday, August 31, 2014

Ending the LDR and starting new life

Its been almost 3 months since my husband came back to KL for good. It means that our long distance relationship (LDR) for 3 years is finally over alhamdulillah :) The truth is throughout my married life, we only live together for a couple of months as before his Brunei assignment, he was always on long assignments in different projects, hence it is fair to say we're finally starting over.

Well, obviously this is the best happen to any LDR wives out there, but little that I know is the need of change and readjusting to normal life is not really a breeze and sometimes may be quite challenging.

1.Suddenly you have a partner to go and back from work. My habit of having my own sweet time every morning (sometimes I do sleep back after the Subuh prayer, and go to the office at 8.40am because I dont feel like coming early that day) is quite irrelevant anymore since I need to consider his morning meetings,etc. And he is quite reluctant to take the LRT hence we need to arrange of season parking near the office, and some mornings we need to send our child to the grandma's since we have 2 homes to man now hence it took more time off my usual morning routine.

2.Obviously, more house chores and laundry is waiting at home :P I dont mind washing and folding clothes but ironing is such a different story altogether. I always wonder why women's clothes are easier to iron hence quicker, as my routine is to iron MY clothes every morning before I go to work. But men's clothes always take more than 30 minutes (why dont  the men's shirt manufacturers make shirts from iron-free materials??)! Of course tak sempat if I want to iron both of our clothes every morning! Don't talk about weekends because we're rarely at home hence ironing a one week's stock is out of question for my situation. Finally I manage to convince the husband to take his cothes for ironing at the nearby laundry shop.. phew that lifts my workload alot. Also the guilt of hardly cooking any meal for the husband especially on weekdays.. usually we eat at our inlaws or outside and although my husband dont really mind his dear wife is rarely cook, but the guilt is a must for all wives I guess.

3. The different ideas on how we spend our out of office time sometimes makes me go crazy. While sometimes I carefully plan for a family weekends or attend usrah or programs at night, he would surprise me with his adhoc outstation, late meetings, adhoc golfing, meeting friends etc. While his is always `urgent' and `important' as if mine was not, this is where diplomatic conversation is really crucial to avoid miscommunation and get a win-win situation. So expect some confrontation and drama but at the end of the day, just dont drag any emotional or communication breakdown for too long; focus to sort the problems out soonest possible.

4.While the three points listed above is the challenge, one cant deny the perks and joy of having a husband by your side. The lesser burden of having to manage the house and kid on your own, a driver to drive you to most of your destination, a person to carry your groceries, a person to entertain your kid to sleep when Mummy is too tired or sick and most importantly Amna is evidently very happy with his Daddy's presence that of course makes Mummy happier.

5.Among unexpected thing that happened when the husband finally come home for good is, suddenly he brought back with him loads of clothes and stuff that we dont have enough storage in our tiny crib. I remembered he departed few years ago with only 2 bags and now these?! Hence we decided to get a new,bigger wardrobe for all the stuff. And when we plan for that, suddenly we felt that it was high time to refurbish the house abit since it looks exactly the same as 4 years ago (our apartment is a fully furnished unit when we bought it, even the curtains were 4 years old and never been washed!). Hence the small plan become a major thing and as of my writing now, the refurbishing work is still in progress and the house still looks like a ship wreck. So forgive me if i did not invite anyone to my house for Raya, promise I will invite you next year :)

Well that's a summary of my life after giving up the LDR wife title for good. I pray for other LDR wives to stay cool and collected, as you're one superwoman, ladies! The experience is priceless I must say, as it prepares you for anything, anytime. Now I can casually and coolly say `OK' when my husband break the news to go outstation/offshore the very next day (yes adhoc assignment is a norm).Cool right? We also knows where and when to pay the bills (trivia: do you know how many bills your husband need to pay every month?), who to call when the pipe is leaking or car battery is flat, you know the things that may be taken for granted when the hubby is constantly around.And needless to say, the whole situation brings us closer to the family as they are our lifesaver more often than not. Talk about the benefits of having both parents near you :) TTYL :)

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