I planned to write an insights of what was recently happened to me.. a really(?) good one with grammar check,good vocabulary and everything. But I'm afraid I'll be so lazy and will subsequently abandon this page and when I was up to write again, semuanya jadi basi. So I want to write something, and right now.
Ok you 've known the chronology already, I detailed it out in the last page. "No regrets" - those words were stucked on my head from the very first night I was admitted in the hospital until recently. Nothing should be regretted pun kan. But Alhamdulillah I didn't feel depressed or anything alike.OK I cried once and that's it, just accept it.It had happened and it was not the worse thing happen to someone. Yelah I mean, countless ladies that I knew had the same experience, if not worse.My friends,my colleauges,my boss,my aunties.. ramai yang dah share experience yang sama that actually made me relieved.
I pun tak sure what my point is actually tapi I still nak tulis something.
Yang tak semua kita ni experiencing/will experience `textbook life'. My definition of textbook life is everything you planned is exactly implemented whether with or without your control. Macam, you study that discipline and you get employed doing exactly that.dan you plan nak kawin at 25 and you got it arranged.dan after one year you already pregnant, no complication whatsoever and had a beautiful baby,after two years you got another bundle of joy and the list went on and on.meanwhile you get good performance ratings at work, get promoted within 4 years,buy house,buy new cars, etc. As odd as it sounds, some people do get a textbook life.I know some who had it.Tak mungkinlah tak jealous tapi dah memang rezeki dan tertulis their plan is exactly the same as the God's plan..they should be grateful to have all that.
While, some of us, infact most of us will face bumps down the road.Sometimes we will be hit hard,sometimes we bounce back harder.Bukanlah sebab Tuhan tak sayang but we will be challenged on things that we are actually capable to deal with no matter how hard.. it was written in the holy Quran. Infact kita pun kena sangat bersyukur sebab dapat ujian, ujian tanda sayang Allah kpd hamba-Nya kan? Mungkin textbook life is not the best for us, hence ours are more challenging. The fact is that when we died, we will only be judged with our iman and taqwa. Not our money,our success stories,our performance rating, our number of children, our family etc etc. So ladies and gents, and especially myself, tabahlah :) Dan doa usaha tawakkal selalu..meminjam kata2 seorang kawan,"kalau langit yang besar dan berat tu Allah boleh tadbir, takkan awak sorang yang kecil ni Allah nak biarkan?"
Baru2 ni ada scene dalam satu drama tu sangat mengesankan saya.Tak ingat dah tajuk dia.. tapi pasal anak perempuan ni yang ala2 jahat cakap kasar ngan mak dia kat telefon, pastu terus eksiden.Then bila dia terjaga tengok kawan2 dia semuanya dah mati dalam kereta tu, dia takut dan panggil2 mak dan abang dia yang dia dah buat jahat untuk mintak maaf..lepas tu baru dia nampak mayat dia sendiri tercampak luar keta.Maksudnya dia pun dah mati...... owh that scene really touched me. Siapa tahu tajuk dia sila bagitau saya ok.
OK I know this post tak sharp and point dia bersepah2.But that is how I usually think,bersepah2 and think 10 things sekaligus. Apa2 pun, doakan I dapat pengganti yang lebih baik okay :) And I'll pray for you guys too.Semoga baik2 sahaja!