Friday, September 08, 2006
I just get the opportunity to write about this after a long while. Seems quite busy this week! I think the phrase as the topic above is pretty much familiar with us – I even remembered as I first heard about it during my secondary school. You know, back at that time we were longed for bombastic words to make our essays more beautiful and will surely gain lots of marks from our teachers. Back then, my favorite quotes were `raining cats and dogs’, `in the nick of time’ and of course, `paradigm shift’.I felt the satisfying feeling flows in me and an absolute joy whenever I manage to fill my essays with those kinds of `unusual’ words.I bet you guys were too, especially for a fully Malay-literate girl with a totally pure Malay family background, like ME( believe it or not, my blood doesn’t mix with foreign blood from my ancestors, not that I can think of or can relate for the time being.Despite the fact that I inherit my Mom’s blood (obviously Minang blood)Hehe.OK,What ever.I just love to refer myself as pure Malay girl. Perempuan Melayu terakhir? Whatever it means.Haha)
Actually I just came over this phrase WITH its real meaning and situation examples when I read the ever-famous book from Stephen R.Covey - `7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. Thanks to my ex-roommate for giving me that book for my 21st birthday, I really love it! (Yet I just get the chance to read it after, like four months from the day I received this book. What a waste). The situation of mini-paradigm shift described in the book had really touched my heart, as we often encounter this kind of situation but only a few can think and act wisely, the right thing at the right time.
Let me just recap the story in short, my own version of story telling (cannot beat Yasmin-the storyteller, though). Just use your mind and daily experience to actually imagine Covey’s experience: It was a very peaceful Sunday morning, and yet you want to go to your uncle’s house via train (you can imagine a KTM Komuter, STAR or PUTRA LRT, it doesn’t matter anyway).People are sitting quietly, some reading newspapers, some busy SMS-ing and some just doze off(anyway, what do you expect for a Sunday morning?Only the desperate ones are willing to be on a train during Sunday morning.Haha).It was a very calm and peaceful scene.
Suddenly a middle aged man entered the train coach with his children. He just sat quietly beside you while his three boys were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. At first you can stand the noise, as they were just a bunch of kids. Then those kids start snatching other people’s newspapers and running wildly back and forth in the coach, while their father stared blankly at the window and sometimes closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation.It was very disturbing, and yet the man next to you did nothing.
As Covey and many of us would feel at the situation, you feel extremely irritated.How can he be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else around you feel irritated too.So finally, to satisfy your unusual patience and restraint to the whole situation, you turn to him and said,
“Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”
(this verse below I copied totally from the book, as I want to make the huge impact that I felt when I first read this)
The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”
What you will feel at that moment?As Covey said (and most of us will, too, if we are in his shoe), his paradigm shifted.Suddenly he saw things differently, and because he saw things differently, he thought differently, he behaved differently.His irritation vanished.He didn’t have to worry about controlling his attitude or behaviour ; his heart was filled with the man’s pain.Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely.
“Your wife just died?Oh, I’m sorry!Can you tell me about it?What can I do to help?"
Everything changed in an instant.
So ladies and gentlemen,
This occur to us everyday, it just the matter of realizing the occurrence of paradigm shift.It is important to know it, and please note that paradigm shift is not only for the better, but it might be for the worse too. Many people experience a similar fundamental shift in thinking when they face a life-threatening crisis and suddenly see their priorities in a different light, or when they suddenly step into a new role, such as husband or wife, parent or grandparent, manager or leader.We could spend weeks, months, even years laboring with the Personality Ethic trying to change our attitudes and behaviors and not even begin to approach the phenomenon of change that occurs spontaneously when we see things differently.
It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.
SO, Don’t afraid to change.We need changes to improve ourselves.
P/S : It worth something to digest a motivastional book, once in a while ^_^
Further info you can seek HERE and HERE, and elsewhere in the world...