Gazing

City vacation : klcc

Macam dah takde tempat lain nak bercuti..situlah tempat kerja, situlah nak bercuti. Haha amna tak mandi terus teruja main kat full length window..then off to aquaria.is it just me.. I think aquaria somehow had lost its magic.

Cara nak istiqamah bersedekah setiap hari

Last night I managed to attend a beautiful majlis ilmu and met my usrah friends yang lama tak jumpa. I wish to share on one of the most memorable key point for me in that event as highlighted by the ustazah.She said that doing good deed is easy, yang susah adalah istiqamah. Contohnya macam sedekah, of course after prayer in a mosque or after attending ceramah it is easy for us to give sedeqah coz we are just being reminded about it. And we know that sedekah in the morning is the best time because that time is when the rezeki come (as the scholars said).So macam mana nak istiqamah sedekah, pagi hari? Mungkin tak setiap pagi kita boleh gi masjid untuk bagi kat tabung masjid..
So solutionnya adalah buat tabung sendiri..letak kat depan rumah pagi2 sebelum pergi kerja boleh masukkan duit.Tapi kadang2 kt rumah, pagi2 rushing nk gi kerja, hantar anak, dan macam2.so boleh juga letak kat atas meja office.setiap pagi sampai masukkan sikit duit.so hari public holiday tak dapat pula nsk masukksn duit.hehe.another option is to carry an envelope in your handbag and jadikan dia tabung.biasanya handbag kita bawa ke mana2 so boleh la kot nak menyumbang setiap hari.bila dah penuh, boleh transfer ke mana2 tabung derma, tabung masjid atau mana2 tempat yang memerlukan..
Amacam boleh try tak? I am going to start today.let's start!

Amna with atok

Reset Minda Pekerja

One of my favorite tv program nowadays is Reset Minda bersama Prof Muhaya. I like her style of reminding others straight forwardly, without actually annoys or discomforts people. Just the style that suits me. One of the most memorable episode that I can really relate to my self and my situation is Reset Minda para pekerja.

If you ever experience perasaan tak suka pergi pejabat, tak suka bosses, tak suka colleagues, tak suka your work, rasa tak pernah dihargai dan 1001 macam lagi grievances related to work, well you should catch the re run of this episode in Astro Oasis. When I watch this episode, every single words uttered by Prof really hit me right on the face. I pernah rasa perasaan yang sangat teruk ni twice in my working life. Once when i just got married and my husband immediately was assigned to Vietnam and other places.. and sekali lagi masa i just gave birth to my baby and got back to work,where I need to stay with my inlaws coz they agreed to take care of my baby while I got to work. To think back during these two major downside of my life, both were related to fragile emotions due to  missing support by the husband and ALSO some problem in the office that i shall not detailed down here.

Well to relate back to the topic, the key concept that i learnt from the program me is focus on what we are giving, rather that we are given. We always see ourselves as most important person because we do good work for the company,more often we stretch our efforts to make ends meet, and we always expect something in return, sometimes even something extra at the end of the day. But sometimes we tend to forget that we are the one who apply to work for the company, and they have the rights to assess our work and decides whether we shall be given handsome bonus or not at the end of the year. And once the decision did not meet our expectation, our instinct is always to rebel and give less from what we always give, because it doesn't make any difference anyway. Because those persons whom give less but more visible, or please the bosses whom will get the extra perks and not us.

The paragraph above is actually a real case that always happen in the workforce, especially in my unit. It is because my current work is so monotonous, very operational and is always hectic through out the year. At least a project has phases, and perhaps you may get totally busy at any of the phase and once it was done, you may have a time period to cool down and reflects, suggest for rooms of improvements before the next project kick off. But not for my case. So the negative atmosphere is always clouding my units especially because most of the member of my units are quite experienced people, and we have experience working with different team and bosses that we could always compare our experience to.

For me, i am a self motivated person. For me motivational book doesn't help to increase my motivation, i will do the soul searching and find my inspiration so i can get the mood and actually enjoy what i am doing at work, so i can strive better and perform at my best level. So currently the work atmosphere doesn't bother me so much, as i now if i want to make the atmosphere better, i am the one who need to move forward. Not forcing or waiting for the scenario to change. For external motivation i look forward to programmes like Prof Muhaya's and also by reading biography books of famous and successful person.

So if you're feeling down and not wanting to wake up the next day to go to the office, please catch the rerun of this programme to get you inspired. We need to understand why we go to work and how to enjoy working, if we fail to feel the joy we might as well quit and do something else instead e.g. starting a business, etc. And please do it quickly, because the longer you stay, you might feel more miserable, and this will surely affect your performance, and you will be the excess baggage to your colleagues and company too.

A fresh layout

I am setting a new layout for the blog to mark my intention to be an active blogger again. Yay! (Insya Allah)

Mommy's dilemma

The biggest dilemma for ladies around my age, who just started a family and is expanding (physically, financially, socially), is none other than either to become working mother or stay at home mother(SAHM). It will always haunt us, I guess no matter which path we choose. For me, currently a working mother, I will unintentionally, every now and then think about my life if I chose to become a SAHM. Or even WAHM for that matter. Some of my friends even questioned me, `What am I doing here?!' when they learnt that until now I am still apart from the husband due to work commitment.However it is easier said than done, alot of factors need to be considered and it is not really about money. My child is already 1 year old and alhamdulillah I managed to raise her single handedly with strong support from both of my families.

I felt uneasy when some people portrayed that working mom is a norm and housewife is an extra mile.i believe on the total opposite.I do believe that stay at home mother is a norm, almost natural option every women need to choose. However since many women nowadays obtained high education level they are expected to work, and later when they start a family, big decisions need to be made for the family to function.So since stay at home mom is a norm (for me) I dont see any problem if graduated women chose to be a housewife rather than working in the field they had studied in school.

I have my reservations for both options.I believe all mothers are great regardless the path they choose..either working or stay at home.I have seen living evidences of successful mothers from both sides, whom raised successful children so it is always depend on individuals. My favourite mothers, whom are MY Moms are the examples of mothers from both sides and I actually learned a lot from their experience.My mom was a working mother for almost 30 years while my inlaw is a housewife. Both are supermoms in their own fields, that is all I can say.

And now I observed the trend of stay at home moms making small/online business from home and that is actually a great move to support the family financial state.And perhaps since most of these mothers have a high education background, they are equipped with sufficient knowledge to excel in this field, and have a network of friends supporting each other makes this move even more fun and easier. They can always choose to become traditional housewives whom only focus to raise the children and do the house chores, but these people made extra effort to become work at home moms.Most importsnt is they enjoy what they are doing.

Now lets look at the working moms.i believe most of them also have the option to quit and stay at home but they did not do for many reasons.Usually because they would like to practice what they have learnt in tertiery level, and also to contribute to the family's financial state.But some really have genuine passion to their work and actually performs well, more often they beat the men.And believe me some of these mothers managed to perform well as both mothers for their children and also as employees.They have the recipe to success which need to be perfected over time, and a strong determination and high discipline helps along the way.

However as a 'traditional' mom at heart I always believe that family must come first, work second.It is a huge bonus if the boss can accept occasional EL from the employees to attend a sick child, and allow half day leave to handle various family matters like my boss (thanks boss!). However please do not jeopardize the allowance because we work for an organisation and in all fairness, we need to perform and deliver the equal quality and quantity of job as what we are paid monthly. If that is too much to ask, then quit please and do what you enjoy the most.

So make the right choice for the benefit of your family, and KUDOS to all mothers who made it!!

Oh no

Oh my goodness post below is meant for my personal blog.i got the blogs mixed up! Excuse the casual tones please. Anggaplah ini bonus buatmu.haha whatever.

Si cranky

Amna agak cranky 2-3 harini. 2-3 mlm tgh tdo menangis plak tp mata tutup.. mengigau kot.mlm td lepas tdo 2 jam bgn tgh malam nangis.
Tgk takde pape perkara pelik pun.. takde sakit perut ke apa.i suspect dia nk perhatian nak2 dia perasan daddy is around.tadi pun masa mkn biskut tetiba melalak.pastu menyusu n terus tdo.i suspect dia tergigit lidah kot.entah tp kekadang mmg menguji kesabaran. Mujur daddy ada.. nnti bila kita dok berdua please behave ye sayang.
Tapi mmg byk milestone dia sminggu dua ni.gig atas dh kluar 2 btg..rasenye akan tambah lg 1-2 btg.pastu dh reject blended food..yg dia lalu mkn makanan kita.so I suka hati la suap dia nasik.hehe tp lauk kna soupy or lembut2 sikit la. Sekian mommy akhirnya bersara dari blend bubur n baby food :) love2.
Tapi biasa la jadi mak2 tak pernah x risau..asik lah risau kenyang ke dia? Since dia mkn sama plate kita x dpt measure sgt brapa byk food intake dia.. hopefully she is well lah. And dia nmpak kurang chubby dh sbb sgt aktif asyik main jer..n dia juga suka sgt baca buku.n kena tunjuk guna jari ok! She now knows how to portray her dislikes..n siap amik tangan kita utk buat apa yg dia nk.inshort she can portrays her emotions now.so mummy yg pening kepala sbb kekang tak paham dia nk apa.kalo salah dia jerit n nangis.huhu sabar je lah.may u become anak solehah n membahagiakan mummy daddy ok sayang.love u bunch.n love daddy too :)

Ganglion cyst

I want to explain abit about ganglion cyst for others reference.

What is ganglion cyst?
Please google if u require medical terms about this.as of layman's term, it is actually a crystallized liquid from your joints that actually leaked out from its usual limited space (in between our joints) and combined and crystallized. After some time it might be as hard as your bone and it can grow bigger.

What is the cause?
Many reasons.some possible cause might be post trauma caused by a hard hit/terhentak/something heavy fell/you lift heavy objects.. my case I pun x sure.

Is it dangerous?
Well it depends on the type and also the location.if you found any bulge in your body, first thing first please see your doctor and never assume anything.if might be fat or ganglion cyst or something else. If its a real ganglion case, usually its not dangerous but eventually you are advise to remove it.

Is it common?
Yes according to my doctor.my boss had one at her finger and its so small but really painful.even the gp I first met to get GL had one.so it is quite common.

When do I need to remove it?
Again it depends on your condition.if it is very painful usually people remove it immediately.if it is so small and not painful perhaps you can ignore it.for my case it is not painful but it is relatively big and might get bigger, I plan my surgery so I can finish my urgent tasks in the office first before the surgery and recovery period.

Is it painful during removal? And post surgery?
I was fully anaesthetised so obviously I cant feel the pain.please get an orthopedic surgeon to do it coz they are the expert.my procedure lasted for about 40 mins and after I gained conscious I had a light meal and can go home right away(just a Day Care).however my hand was bandaged and I need to wear a splint mainly to minimize my movement for the wound to heal quickly.for the first few days my hand was swollen badly, doc said it might be tissue reaction post surgery.slowly it will subside and by a week you can remove the bandage and splint already. So by then you can slowly test your strength until you are fully recovered. I was given 2 weeks mc and I think the duration is just nice for recovery.

Is there any alternative to surgery?
You can opt to suct it out especially if it is small but there is a high risk of reoccurrence. Because the cyst actually comes with sarung or 'akar' so we need to removed everything.its like if you have a cyst the size of 20 cent coin, the real size might be 50cents like my nurse put it.

Blessings in disguise?
Yes for me because :
1.i can rest and pause a bit from my hectic job
2.i can watch my baby near her important milestone; she is about to walk!
3.my husband took a week's off and help me with the house chores.that is indeed a luxury for me
4.the pain naturally brings me closer to the Creator.oh this should be the #1 in my list

I miss u !

I just miss writing in this blog.its not that ive stopped writing because I have another personal blog that recorded Amna's milestone and some personal stuff that can only be accessed by mr and hubby.sweet bukan
.hewhew camni la LDR couples we still send sweet messages and ginggling n bermanja througj phone cam budak skola bercinta.ok please jgn muntah.
Ok then, ironically my last post
Was during my short unpaid leave - 1mo leave since my inlaw went for hajj. And this time also I am on short(long kot- 2 weeks) medical leave - I just had a minor surgery to remove a ganglion cyst at my left wrist.i suspected it was there for years because the size was big, and I just had to remove it before it kacau my blood vessels.so for a week I had my hand bandaged and wore a splint.yesterday the doc changed the dressing and he did quite a good job coz I didnt see any stitch mark.how ever the cut is quite long coz the cyst was just on my blood vessels so doc need to tarik ke tepi a bit and buang the cyst.cant imagine if it gets bigger..nauzubillah.so just recently I  am able to type but yet to write or apply full force using my left hand like memotong bawang ker so I believe another week is given for complete recovery :)
Ok alamak my baby just woke up.she actually talk in her sleep sometimes.so comel.ok bye.just lepas gian to blog here.perhaps I can write more coz I have another week at home.heehee ")

Senjata yang hilang

Lately i think my emotion is more fragile for some reasons.. Mostly it was triggered by small things,sometimes so small its just not worthy in my daily life. Things which supposedly do not bug me too much, needless to say i realistically must be alot happier because ive reunited with my small family in this short but meaningful vacation. It is very meaningful, i would call it my (again)soul searching period to venture and define the options i may have in living my life.

I said options,  because iam not the ultimate planner of my life.it is purely His choice.its just that i hope i will see the lights and find the right path. Not the path that i desired, but the path that He desired and destined for me.Quoting Ust Hasrizal in one of his book, like the journey of Nabi Musa that found the oddest in life,and is there Nabi Khidir that will show me the rationale of each taqdir? Only my journey and mehnah is nothing compared to theirs, or even more people in the world who live a tougher life but still a strong devotees to Allah.

Who am i to choose what i want in life? What i want will not be necessarily the same as what He wants.
I only wanted what is best for me in life, according to His rule, that will guide me to Jannah.
I know to gain that is never easy,but small steps in the right direction will lead me to somewhere,right?
I need to make sure i am in the right direction. Maybe a few sidesteps along the way,but the direction is sure.macam arah mata angin.macam arah kiblat.
And how to ensure my direction is right, for me is to making the journey process right.
I need to readopt again all the methods and processes ive  known and learned before,which some i may had left along the way.its time to collect them back and of course, strengthen them.
I am talking about Muslims secret weapons.solat yang khusyuk and awal waktu, berjemaah mathurat, solat sunat-dhuha,tahajjud,qobliah bakdiah,taubat,hajat,witir, daily quran recitations,complete covering of aurats..and many more that  might have slipped somewhere along my journey.

I dont want to be diluted in the world of rich and famous, in the world of feeling superior and important, and the feeling of only me is right, others are wrong.
YA ALLAH! please save me from the worst feeling a person should have - hubbuldunya and forgetting akhirat.

A baby on a plane

Well im not an expert on this.i just had experienced carrying my baby for 4 return flights(1 long haul,the others are 2+ hrs flights) in less than 2months time.However it worth to note a few points as a guide for the anxious expected mothers out there especially the one who requested  me to jot down this little tips :-)
1.understand your baby.
I believe all mothers had different experience with baby on a flight.so basic rule is always to understand your baby-their sleeping patterns,poo routine etc.
2.mummy need to be calm and colllected.
Most first time mother will tend to overworry before deciding to carry and infant on board.we afraid that she will cry non stop, will be affected with the altitude difference,etc. Well you never know what you will face until u actually experience it,right? So dont worry much,just hop on the plane.if u are lucky your baby is easygoing and will sleep throughout the journey:-)
3.make sure baby's essentials in hand luggage.
It worth to bring along a bag special for baby's basic needs-milk,food,simple toys/books,some extra clothes,diapers, etc.if you plan to travel light,here's some tips:
i.if ur baby fully breastfeed,good for you coz it means less things to pack.but never forget your nursing cover ya.
ii.if your baby on formula,be ready of a bottle of milk siap bancuh before u check in.to top up,just bring the milk in single dispensable container and empty milk bottle.in flight,ask the stewardess to provide the warm water.you can also ask their help to clean the bottles for you.
iii.pillow and blanket are usually provided,no need to bring.
iv.baby cookies and simple food ie baby cereals is handy on plane.
V.put on long sleeves and long pants,i found baby sweater is renyah and no time to remove/wear to adjust with plane temperature.socks are essential!
4.baby handling
Baby feeding:bring along the essentials ie bottles/feeding bowl n spoon, etc.never forget baby bib!
Baby sleeping:usually when u check in with your infant they will allocate a seat with baby bassinatte.its good if ur baby can sleep by herself in the bassinate so you can be more comfortable once your baby asleep.my baby jenis light sleeper and bassinate mmg x membantu langsung
La kalau dah pantang bergerak je dia terjaga kan.btw AA short flights doesnt offer any bassinate.
Baby pooing:you can change the diaper in the toilet that have nappy change facilities.dont change at your seat!
Strollers are essential while travelling and should never be left behind.some mothers love to use sling, but if ur petite like me its not a good option.you may end up with body ache (just imagine normal baby at 2mo weighs 5+ kg.itu baru 2mo!)

hari ke 4

hari ke 3? mihun goreng huhu
*hangat2 chicken shit*
but i ate bananas for both days..so apology accepted? :)

back to healthy food

its been a year since my pregnancy until last week,i dont really watch my breakfast intake as i used to.everyday starts with nasi lemak or nasi goreng n sometimes roti canai.kasihan usu dan badanku need to cope with the excessive oil and fats! so minggu ni mendapat semangat utk kmbali ke mknn sihat seperti dahulu.so i nk buat simple food journal sikit..hehe
yesterday's n today's breakfast.kite tgk esok cner.. hehe

itchy and scratchy

amna woke up at 5am because she kept tossing n turning while scratching her forehead n head.. mommy suspected she had mild rashes due to heat n sweat.in other words-her eczema strikes!dont worry dear mommy knows exactly how u feel..anyway from whom you actually inherit it in the first place?
so mommy applied some aqueous cream hoping it will reduce the itchiness.althougg hydrocortisone is the fastest remedy mommy will avoid it as much as i can. while mommy thought tropika oil is as good as hair oil and earth mommy angel baby balm works..slow?
get well dear!

i miss u like crazy

i miss u like crazy
even more than words can say
i miss u like crazy
every minute and every day
sayang i'm so down
when your love's not around
i miss u,miss u,miss u
i miss u like crazy

-the moffats

Natural Parenting?

Well it is only normal for new parent to talk about parenthood right? :) So I shall write a few of my thoughts here. In case you're wondering why I did not showcasing my baby too much in this blog, actually those precious moments were captured in other personal blog for the eyes of her father (mainly), and also as a remembrance for the good years to come insya Allah.

I believe `natural parenting' is the in thing for the young and new parents nowadays. Personally I was quite confused with this term, which made me ended up googling and searching for the true definition of the term. It is mainly about understanding the child's behavior and not forcing them into things that is not their norm. But is there a strict guideline to differentiate natural parenting from other parenting practices?

For me, all babies have their own unique behaviors, and most importantly is for the parents to recognize and compliment their uniqueness. However, to recognize our baby's unique features will take some time and a lot of try and error, and this is where most parents, whom may have different experience and knowledge,  end up with perhaps, different judgements (read: NOT wrong) in raising their children.

Personally I had my own difficulties and challenges in raising my baby which I shall not detail it out here - Amna is a moderate baby, not so easy nor so hard to handle. Let me tell you, my baby didn't suckle, she just scream on top of her lungs whenever she need something which made me go crazy at times. The hardest part is always the first few weeks, but later when she learnt the routine it will be much easier for baby and Mummy. Along the way, baby soothers do help especially when she is very cranky and refuse to sleep at night! I've tried pacifiers but it did not work with my baby, she just refused to it the minute I put into her mouth. Later I tried baby swing (buaian) and it works wonders.. so Mummy and baby are happier and managed to catch up quality sleeps together:-)

However a few weeks later, she doesnt like the swing so much and we resorted to sway around,almost dancing to put her to sleep.i mean, logically it's principal is the same as buaian,no?And this lasted until she's 3 mo old.After that she changed her preference again-she loves to nurse to sleep, just like when she was a newborn until now.but when she stayed with her Wan, pandai pulak tido pakai buaian o_O Yes we still rely to electric swing during the day when her grandma babysits her while I am working.coz if not nanti Wan x dpt masak plak asik ngadap dia jer.

And that is just about baby soothers, we have not even go into details to other topics i.e cloth diapers,organic stuffs,etc. Perhaps i will write more after this.i dont know what took me so long to install blogger app in my galaxy s/tab,huhu.

Different babies have their own unique behaviors, and we shall recognize this fact before we judge.

Post Natal- Nights in the Hospital

(CAUTION LAGI- ENTRY PANJANG PART 2)

I was quite shocked on the challenges I faced after delivery.. I thought delivery was the worst part so I prepared myself mentally just for that.. rupanya banyak lagi yang menunggu terutama minggu pertama jaga anak. Just some chronology of my experience so Mummy won't forget :)


Day 1 (24/4) 
Amna Sofia lahir pukul 8.35pm, pastu terus rooming in start from 10.30pm. Bajet terer padahal blur gila taktau nak wat apa..huhu baby nangis kita pun susukan je, check pampers and everything. Bila dah tengah malam.. tetiba baby nangis kuat xtau apsal, terus panggil nurse and nurse cakap baby sejuk (ktorang bukak aircond tapi sikit je..still lah kan). Nurse amik Amna gi Nursery utk warmkan, then Amna balik bilik lepas 1.5 hours. First night ni memang Mummy & Daddy tak tido la jaga baby.

Day 2 (25/4)
Amna masih baby yang kesejukan so air cond memang totally off. Siang tu ramai uncles and aunties datang tengok dia.. happy la dia banyak hadiah dapat. Amna sejuk sampai gigil2 taktau kenapa.. pastu sembang2 tu Kak Ecah tetiba tanya my Mom 'Makcik, uri dia kat mana?' Then my Mom goes ` Ya Allah baru teringat ada dalam peti ais.. orang tua2 kata uri tu kembar baby'. Mane la I tau kan. Memang nampak cam illogical tapi in my case kebetulan ianya benar. Terus Daddy and my inlaws gi balik umah Mama tanam uri. Pastu baby dah tak kesejukan lagi. Alhamdulillah.
When night arrives, sekali lagi Mummy tak tido malam sebab Amna macam restless dan asik bangun  nangis mintak susu. Mummy pun join nangis sebab sedih tak pandai jaga baby, huhu felt like a bad mother :(

Day 3 (26/4)
Pagi2 nurse from nursery called dan cakap my baby ade crystallized urine, maksudnya dia tak dapat cukup susu.  I nangis lagi sebab sedih cara dia cakap cam I tak bagi susu padahal smalaman tak tido..sedih2. Today walaupun dah boleh discharge sebenarnya tapi saja nak stay satu malam lagi untuk monitor baby. Malam ni I mengalami pengalaman menyeksakan untuk setiap breastfeeding mummies : bengkak susu. Huhu takleh tido wey, sampai nangis2 tahan sakit. Nurse pun datang ajar cara2 nak mengatasi masalah ni.. yang penting susu kena dikeluarkan jugak n takde shortcut (I penatla tanya kalo ade medication ke apa tapi takde.hampa lagi) Tapi tau je lah benda ni amik masa nk baik..Mak dah pressure dah kata kau ni takde susu ni.. and suruh bagi FM. Pressure I tauu sib baik hubby gave his fullest support to me.

Day 4 (27/4)
Dah siap2 nak discharge ni, tiba2 Nurse call kata my baby ada sikit jaundice, reading 11.7. Kena tahan lagi satu malam.. dan sambil menanggung bengkak susu gi la jugak feeding anak kat Nursery. Dalam hati risau sangat my baby dehydrated, tak cukup makan semua.. tau je la early stage of bengkak susu, mmg susu tak keluar/sikit je keluar. Sakit dia Allah je yang tau.. mujur dok kat Nursery tu ade Midwife yang baik hati ajar camne nk buat-basically kalau bengkak susu for first time Mom sebabnye adalah milk duct tersumbat, so kena clear kan path dia and make sure semua duct flowing. Maka malam tu tak tido jugak disebabkan aktiviti tuam menuam dan hand expression. Amna stay nursery sebab jaundice. Oh sebab baby jaundice ni pun my mom and inlaws dah risau melampau, sibuk cari susu kambing nak bagi baby utk redakan jaundice walaupun mati2 I defend taknak bagi baby apa2 selain breast milk.

Day 5 (28/4)
Pagi ni dah sakit2 badan dah lama sangat dok hospital. Juga I rase I kena gak tempias post natal depression di mana semua orang high expectation, sibuk ajar camni camtu and masuk campur in every ways..pressure I tau.penat gak la husband tenangkan I. Nurse kat sini pun satu jugak, taula hospital ni support breastfeeding n rooming in policy semua tapi ajar laa dulu first time mothers kan, ni main baby klahir terus masuk room je and pandai2 kau laa nk breastfeeding ka buat apa ka. Bukan semua orang terus terer menyusu anak. Tapi for a few nurses tu I memang salute habis sebab ajar I (walaupun setelah mengalami kegagalan & bengkak susu baru nak ajar, tu pun bila kita mengadu sakit la), terima kasih banyak2. Dah nak kemas2 barang ni pastu Nurse cakap my baby's jaundice naik sikit.. so kena warded lagi. Adeh dah la Dr dah bagi discharge form. Terpaksa stay another night :( Muak dah dok spital. Sib baik rumah dekat so bleh la husband ulang alik amik baju semua, and Mom & MIL pon gilir2 antar makanan utk org pantang la katekan. Huhu. Harini dah bersemangat sikit, bengkak susu pon dah kurang. Mujur I bawak jugak breastpump sendiri coz after hand expression pam jugak utk cepat keluarkan susu yang tersumbat tu supaya flow lancar. Berdoa je Amna boleh balik the next day sebab dah tak larat dok hospital, dan penat berulang alik Nursery utk feeding baby. Dah la malam ni room fee kena bayar sendiri sebab dikira as Lodger, and insurance tak cover.

Day 6 (29/4)
Bangun pagi dengan happy (tak sabar nak balik), dah tak bengkak susu and flow lancar. Menyusu Amna pon dah relax jer.. :) dan alhamdulillah finally reading jaundice Amna dah turun and dapat discharge harini.  Btw I did not give Amna susu kambing yer sebab my MIL akhirnya convinced yang baby memang takleh minum susu lain selain breastmilk:)  Yeay yeay lepas settle semua balik umah kemas barang, then petang tu jugak balik rumah my Mom utk berpantang. Lama kan dok spital.. huhu tak larat dah. My Mom plak concern dia sebab I blom start berurut dan berpantang (bengkung,pilis,etc) lagi.. haha. OK lah akhirnye setelah 5 nights berkampung kat hospital kami pun pulang.

Kesimpulannye, selepas bersalin ada lagi banyak cabaran dan dugaan especially utk first time mommies.. in my case I have some breastfeeding issue and sib baik dapat resolve cepat. Di samping itu anda juga takkan lari daripada pressure pihak ketiga, be it your husband, parents & in laws, family, etc which lead to    post natal depression - kerana anda dianggap sebagai first time mommy yang taktau apa2. So kena kuat lah.. and very important for the husband to support the wife from the beginning especially on things yang memerlukan decision pantas. Huhu the End!

My Labor Experience

(CAUTION : ENTRY PANJANG)

Assalamualaykum and hi all,

While my baby is sleeping, I wish to recall my labor experience so I won't forget it - sebagai rujukan anda dan juga untuk my labor akan datang jugak (hihi).

Secara keseluruhannya tiada yang pelik sangat my experience pun. Cuma pada Week 38, cam biasa la badan dah rasa berat tapi masih boleh gi office pada waktu pagi, tengah hari juga boleh lagi gi Foodcourt Level 2 beli makanan (tapi L4 dah tak larat dah nak gi). Atau kalau tak larat sgt tapau je kat any kedai makan ground floor.

PART 1-RAPTAI
Maka pada hari Selasa minggu itu telah pergi check-up dengan Dr, and Dr perasan I cam letih jer and bila scan baby estimated 3.27kg. Dr dah risau sebab I mentioned awal2 nak normal delivery, memandangkan saiz badan I yang kecik dia risau I tak dapat realisasikan impian I kalau tunggu sampai W40.. huhu takut baby besar. Maka dia kata `Nak induce tak? You dah W38 should be OK'.. and you dah open 1cm ni'. Terkejut gak dengar doctor cakap camtu. Sebab sejak W37 me and husband (he works in KL for 1-2 months sebab I nak deliver) asyik cakap ngan baby suruh keluar awal supaya Daddy ade banyak masa nak main ngan dia sebelum kena balik Brunei late May.. haha. Lagipun I dah tak larat sebenarnya. Gi opis pon bukan leh fokus sangat, mujur kerja2 urgent dah settle and dah wat handover. So Dr bagi MC seminggu suruh fikir nak induce anytime dalam this week, if undecided or takde tanda2 lagi dia bagi date 24/4 (W39) untuk induce labor (IOL).

So kami balik dah berfikir, mestila nak keluarkan baby cepat kalau takde pape risiko kan. But at the back of my mind I mmg day terfikir banyak jug kes IOL ni berakhir dengan c-sec sebab opening of servix tak bukak2 sampai sudah..but later I believe semua orang ada bahagian dan rezeki massing, dan cerita bersalin ni setiap orang memang berbeza. So we all tekad la nk induce hari Khamis, so Rabu malam dah pack2 barang gi hospital utk admitted. My parents yang dah risau sebab I cakap Dr bagi option untuk induce, telah tiba di rumah I dan mengantar ke hospital together with my in-laws (I sekarang berjiran ngan mertua so diorang ade je la kat KL ni).

Bila dah sampai hospital, nurse bawak gi labor room utk CTG (check contraction and heart beat baby). Contraction sikit2 je dan opening takde progress lagi. Pastu nurse gi confirm dengan Dr and sekali dia kata Dr suruh I balik. Aik..haritu kata boleh datang anytime. Huhu rasanya Dr taknak amik risiko kot and  tunggu la next week supaya baby mature sikit dalam perut.. or kalau dapat natural contraction lagi bagus. So kami pun terpakse laa balik, dah la sampai tadi siap dia tolak pakai wheelchair, tapi balik nurse suruh balik sendiri jer. Huhu so kami pun gelak2 dan singgah kedai mamak makan supper sebelum pulang. Cis penat je takut sehari semalam.. tapi bak kata my mom Allah dah tetapkan tarikh setiap orang lahir, mati and everything in between.. so belum lagi masa my baby to meet the world kot. Bapak mertua I cakap takpe, ni kita raptai sebelum betul2 hari nak bersalin nanti. Haha.

PART 2-LABOR
Sebab dah dapat MC seminggu (mase ni I W38), I pun berehat2 di rumah sambil tawaf shopping complex kat KL ni setiap hari without fail. Sogo,Pavillion,OU,KLCC.. you name it dengan harapan supaya dapat la natural contraction sebab banyak berjalan. Sampai la hari Isnin (W39), takde pape pun tanda..huhu jadi kami mempersiapkan lah barang2 sebab dalam record dah tulis IOL on 24/4, so Isnin (23/4) malam dah kena admitted sebab procedure start Selasa pagi. Kali ni kalau kena halau dengan nurse I nak saman hospital ni. So another entourage to send me and husband to hospital, this time for real. So we got a room, I was given ubat untuk buang air besar and then prepare2 untuk tido.

The rest I put in chronological manner yea memudahkan pembacaan :

6 am - Nurse datang masukkan tablet utk induce (instead of drip)
8.30 am - Dr datang check I and kata OS still 1cm, takde progress. Huhu sedikit kecewa di situ. I dah start rasa contraction, kejap sakit kejap tak.
9.30 am - Masuk labor room. Ingatkan saje2 nak check lagi rupanya I memang kena stay sini sampai bersalin. My husband bawak laptop bagai sebab nak kena submit satu Contract urgent (sempat lagi kan).
Contraction makin kuat, tapi kena jadi kuat dan abaikan je kesakitan itu.
10 am - Dr datang check I, OS still 1 cm. Dia tengok I dah menderita kesakitan, contraction dah agar high 60-70 camtu. Dr suggest I amik pethidine (painkiller), sebab takleh terus amik epidural sebab taktau lagi berapa lama dalam labor. I pon amik la tak tahan sangat. there goes my plan konon2 taknak amik pape painkiller, huhu. I pujuk diri, ni rezeki masing2..nurse siap cakap jangan compare kita dengan orang lain sebab setiap orang lain pain threshold and experience diorang.
1 pm - Contraction dah sampai 100 at times, tapi opening baru 2-3cm. Nurse ajar pakai Entonox gas plak untuk reduce sakit. I cam dah nak pengsan tahan sakit dahlah tak bleh makan, air pun minum sikit je.
3 pm - OS 4cm. Dr tanya nak tak amik epidural so that I bleh relax sikit untuk prepare for labor. I berkira2 gak takmo, tapi sebab sakit sangat2 dah setengah hari dalam LR I pon tawakkal dan husband pun izinkan so amik je, I believe ni bahagian I yang Allah dah tentukan. After masuk epidural I relax sikit, tapi contraction still rasa so boleh teran masa nak deliver nanti. So kesimpulannya I memang amik ketiga2 pain killer yang disediakan utk orang bersalin, huhu.
6.00 pm - Nurses dah start sediakan barang2 utk bersalin.
7.30 pm - 8 cm sudah. Dr and nurses dah masuk and take their positions. Dr suruh push macam orang meneran buang air bear/sembelit. Sebab masa pregnant 7-8 months tu I ada experience sembelit sikit, so I did exactly that and Dr kata `Good job! Pandai mama!Teran lagi! Come on!' Jadi dengan tenaga yang masih bersisa I pun teran sambil bear in mind jangan kuat sgt nanti koyak banyak. Huhu husband kat sebelah pun bagi semangat!
8.35 pm - Alhamdulillah Amna Sofia lahir ke dunia. Keluar2 terus merengek. Tapi last push tu Mummy dah baby dah penat sangat lama dalam labor so Amna kena vacuum sikit. Mummy terharu berlinang gak air mata.. alhamdulillah walaupun 12 hours in labour Allah permudah urusan melahirkan. Stitches pun sikit jer.. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar.
10.00 pm - Lepas Mummy and baby siap semua, masuk room disambut my parents & inlaws dan Yap. My inlaws paling happy sebab sambut cucu sulung. Amna ditahnik dengan air zamzam dan madu.

OK the end of the first part.. later I sambung Post Natal pulak. Ngantuk dah. Bye!